tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77664260670030678522024-02-19T03:16:43.124-08:00Runnin On EmptyRunnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.comBlogger108125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-3021251734278979162023-05-25T11:12:00.010-07:002023-05-25T11:59:25.577-07:00Life With M.E<p> <span style="font-size: large;">May is M.E awareness month, after 33 yrs of living with it & campaigning I kinda hoped we'd be somewhere by now where awareness wasn't needed, and I wouldn't be here again boring the pants off you, but unfortunately that's not the case, there's still alot of ignorance surrounding M.E (No we're not a little tired) and there's still no treatment and no cure, so here I am once again to hopefully give those of you unfamiliar with the illness a very brief insight that I hope will help, next time you hear it mentioned.</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfNJzVRPNbV3tYoObRCt-xhgTY12AltWR2Qn7fbdb69KW-hTTdREJByYegwkqmeslSTopoPaIWqjlnamedaH5lnP3XHOQrXM_cOCntHBdZ5fYsgE7sYFciHFD7pBUn0crYFDH08sDkZ2Eh2ZDWsl3Nq1lJawkeOrWuPmtzKOSWtg3sccNCMgOk4pNMsA/s600/CjdA_zIWYAA_ZIo.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="527" data-original-width="600" height="281" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfNJzVRPNbV3tYoObRCt-xhgTY12AltWR2Qn7fbdb69KW-hTTdREJByYegwkqmeslSTopoPaIWqjlnamedaH5lnP3XHOQrXM_cOCntHBdZ5fYsgE7sYFciHFD7pBUn0crYFDH08sDkZ2Eh2ZDWsl3Nq1lJawkeOrWuPmtzKOSWtg3sccNCMgOk4pNMsA/s320/CjdA_zIWYAA_ZIo.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">M.E known by it's medical name Myalgicencephalomyelitis (Yes I know, let's just stick to M.E) is still classified by the World health Organisation as a neurological disorder, It's often referred to as a "lingering death" because quite frankly that's exactly how it feels. The illness is a complex chronic one that affects the whole system, physical and also sensory, from a whole body exhaustion, to cardiac, gastro, muscular, immune, sight, sound yadda yadda and so on. (I won't list it all in case you fall asleep) So in simple terms on a daily basis we have to find a way to live, cope, manage and still carve out some kind of a life for ourselves while dealing with symptoms that make you feel like you're dying, in fact an M.E sufferers daily symptoms have been likened to the last days of a dying aids patient. Sadly for this reason and the fact that there is still no treatment or cure, it becomes too unbearable for many and they end up taking their own life. In the early days of my own diagnosis I too looked at the assisted dying hospital Dignitas in Switzerland because apart from not wanting to be a burden on family or society I wasn't sure I would be able to cope with living a life with M.E. After alot of soul searching and chatting with family I decided to stick around and use my point and purpose to campaign and raise awareness for future generations, even after 33 yrs years of it I still believe it will come eventually, not in my lifetime but it will come and considering it's now looking like Long Covid may be similar to M.E, for that generation it's going to matter and make a difference.</span><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq_qFv-Yf_OG8TFg5llGj2DFq-lHLHTy2_Xz85Z-YfSXIp0RFZt6-wr4GiLWRYLrysSipIqIRL730xxN1mkt6AyprnBSYkvbSEwV59rgcD_xaEsg8j2jD3-azcqZEvGOkYHw7Zwlb_1XVqs4aUUutxp1te2KV_ENcmN3Pm4mw-qlsWbPuTaZcKqCfoRQ/s800/Scream.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="742" data-original-width="800" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq_qFv-Yf_OG8TFg5llGj2DFq-lHLHTy2_Xz85Z-YfSXIp0RFZt6-wr4GiLWRYLrysSipIqIRL730xxN1mkt6AyprnBSYkvbSEwV59rgcD_xaEsg8j2jD3-azcqZEvGOkYHw7Zwlb_1XVqs4aUUutxp1te2KV_ENcmN3Pm4mw-qlsWbPuTaZcKqCfoRQ/s320/Scream.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><span>As with many other illnesses and disabilities referred to as invisible, you often can't tell someone has M.E, there is no visual, no missing limb, our heads don't spin 360% , in fact we will probably look fine, normal even (Although in my case some may say that's pushing it?) Some of you may have even seen me about at the local shops with the mother, who i let out from under the floorboards daily so she can stretch her legs? I guess Goodwood is my Rock N Roll, my limit, it's what i can manage and not have too major impact in the main. For the past fortnight I've not been able to do alot at all, go into the recording studio, do yoga, even at home. My cousin came over from Kenya recently but I couldn't even make it to Stevenage to see her, We often miss weddings, funerals, parties, gatherings because every thing an M.E sufferer does has an impact usually between 24-72hrs later , so if we do make it to an event you won't see the fall out that happens later behind closed doors. The last thing people with M.E want is a pity party, it's just about others having some understanding, it's nice to be included and invited and to still feel a part of things even if the majority of the time we can't come . So there we are, if you've got this far, thank-you, I hope it's given you a brief insight into a still much misunderstood illness, If you would like to find out more you can always head over to the wonderful Charity </span><a href="https://www.investinme.org/index.shtml"><b>Invest In ME research</b></a><span> run entirely by volunteers who take no wages. I'd just like to leave you with a little thought, no matter the cards we are dealt, good or not so good there is still always a point and purpose to life and much that we can contribute, we can be reminded of that in the passing of Tina Turner, not once in the out pouring and tributes have we heard about her mansion? Wealth? Chart position? Only of her kindness, her strength, her contribution and her inspiration, all of those things don't cost anything and are things we are all capable of no matter the cards dealt. </span></span><p></p><div><span style="font-size: large;"><span> Til Next Time </span></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><span> Back Before Elvis</span></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><span> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaVgLRb09K0m4Qy3_XeXTGPVU9AIHKaanbRIGT5iF8Bre0qFvCjE5GbVy2995JC4lIVxepVbsGSpyjjVoDYNqTL7JjQg7Qr4biJ0iS0fvlghlV6gIidLEJOX4ofXNL_JvwTvha52-ufTuHL8o1dFyzjlSBYSIc9iuVOzpVDE-kjw2inshYqmqi975ryw/s100/154932063590102600.gif" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="100" data-original-width="74" height="100" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaVgLRb09K0m4Qy3_XeXTGPVU9AIHKaanbRIGT5iF8Bre0qFvCjE5GbVy2995JC4lIVxepVbsGSpyjjVoDYNqTL7JjQg7Qr4biJ0iS0fvlghlV6gIidLEJOX4ofXNL_JvwTvha52-ufTuHL8o1dFyzjlSBYSIc9iuVOzpVDE-kjw2inshYqmqi975ryw/s1600/154932063590102600.gif" width="74" /></a></div><br /> </span></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><span> </span></span></div>Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-53347876608720720992022-06-08T10:52:00.005-07:002022-06-08T11:14:25.333-07:00 M.E? All Talk, No Action? <p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Originally I was looking to write a piece for M.E awareness month in May, in fact I started writing it three times and then deleted it (no mean feat when your primary symptom is exhaustion?) but I just kept getting frustrated by it all, and as I wrote I kept thinking what's the point? 31 yrs in, still campaigning, still ranting, still writing and still have M.E? The injustice to M.E sufferers continues, I believe those with Long Covid are being treated in a similar fashion, and the DWP have already been told not to accept Long Covid as a disability? Maybe they need to refresh their brain cells as to what disability actually means? </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">"A physical or mental condition that limits a persons movements, senses or activities"</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">you only have to type into a search engine "Explain the word </span><span style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;">disability" for a whole heap of explanations to pop up and yet the DWP have a ( secret not so secret) list of illness they've been told not to class as a disability? Everything is designed to treat disability as a crime or at the very least a nuisance. </span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8OVkp8PGkdUYHFNVR-4o7JiFwkvUZ8QoctyPTPFn5XVRxn6_PGPNjeUcozauck2HwFEiGpmkG-g0jMbEHfxzw-kGuiHBIGf5s9Mi6IZg5wpuW1u0MYmz7Bxi0lgt9B1Krm0xpir4fgtrMApKtplTX2_aWcqrmOqLJIcTndklSgw7zgKC__Ebzapinzg/s1744/non-vis.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1744" height="330" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8OVkp8PGkdUYHFNVR-4o7JiFwkvUZ8QoctyPTPFn5XVRxn6_PGPNjeUcozauck2HwFEiGpmkG-g0jMbEHfxzw-kGuiHBIGf5s9Mi6IZg5wpuW1u0MYmz7Bxi0lgt9B1Krm0xpir4fgtrMApKtplTX2_aWcqrmOqLJIcTndklSgw7zgKC__Ebzapinzg/w640-h330/non-vis.jpg" width="640" /></a></span></div><span style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;">When I saw the headlines all over social media about Sajid Javid promising to tackle the "incredibly disabling condition" I was angry, angry because he's acting as if M.E is some new kinda thing. I did write and ask why it has taken so long, would it just be another empty promise and would M.E sufferers and their carers ever get an apology for the decades of abuse & mistreatment? Obviously he didn't respond, but having spent the past 31yrs writing letters to Prime ministers, MP's and various government depts I'm really not surprised. </span></span><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: left;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcDPiRnBB4iMQ0WheVfd2UMwt1yL5g8hb_GV1mf7X9i5DSKEmNDy16DSg9WXe_Oo2m3u7oTQuBc6py1kw4aZiTrmCDmGvLek4HV0UBplN1AUYn0W-5pftapo0N6_8B_qubxu-sJ6iUphGlgNaZ0tKWYcNwFdiu9nDzP-TBEW95fUbUBUrZj4cCwQBHZw/s976/_110891889_javid2017.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="549" data-original-width="976" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcDPiRnBB4iMQ0WheVfd2UMwt1yL5g8hb_GV1mf7X9i5DSKEmNDy16DSg9WXe_Oo2m3u7oTQuBc6py1kw4aZiTrmCDmGvLek4HV0UBplN1AUYn0W-5pftapo0N6_8B_qubxu-sJ6iUphGlgNaZ0tKWYcNwFdiu9nDzP-TBEW95fUbUBUrZj4cCwQBHZw/w640-h360/_110891889_javid2017.jpg" width="640" /></a></span></div><span style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><div style="text-align: justify;">The thing that's got my goat is that back at the beginning of getting ill the figure 250.000 sufferers was being banded about , fast forward to today and it's the same data being banded about, now i'm no scientist or mathematician, but even I know it can't possibly still be the same figure? Once again I've written to the World health organisation, NHS & Government on a number of occasions, with absolutely zero response.</div></span></span><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;">Some may call me a cynic, I prefer realist but unless we see appropriate action I do not trust Sajid Javids spiel, and on the subject of action ,let's talk about charity Action for ME. Now this is a tough one for me as some of you that have followed my journey will know I once had a Column in the charities quarterly magazine, and while I will always have a love for the organisation in it's early days, there is no denying it changed, to the point there was mass exodus of membership when they started towing the government line in the hope of getting their foot in the door regards funding.</span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;">It was an extremely difficult and stressful time because I was being hit with private and public messages from long time followers and friends in the M.E community asking how I could stay, they felt I was betraying them. But I stayed because sometimes it's too easy to walk away and I hoped that I could express peoples disappointment and stop the Charity from going down the road it was heading. However, it became apparent that I wasn't going to change any minds and they were comfortable in their </span></span><span style="font-size: large;">decision and so with heavy heart I did eventually leave a few months later . </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRzbTTPuxvCL1_b9xWlA3v4mZvOGnhkURgYV2meO7cYmhTbd6NHGacJle3NyJpuxNK6rqshKP36CYowEGaFusbcvejOaCLQwNlgJsQs9ZZlAqLIMKhkTnrjO7Xbr6Cb2VgZtAInavu-Mrd1Fvucf4hZX0OHt9xLTmqekaqNz5RTR-yTH4xxOdSjNhRYA/s612/istockphoto-1167581720-612x612.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="291" data-original-width="612" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRzbTTPuxvCL1_b9xWlA3v4mZvOGnhkURgYV2meO7cYmhTbd6NHGacJle3NyJpuxNK6rqshKP36CYowEGaFusbcvejOaCLQwNlgJsQs9ZZlAqLIMKhkTnrjO7Xbr6Cb2VgZtAInavu-Mrd1Fvucf4hZX0OHt9xLTmqekaqNz5RTR-yTH4xxOdSjNhRYA/w640-h304/istockphoto-1167581720-612x612.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">And now the government have partnered with Action for ME, and remembering the earlier days of mistrust in the Charity, I have to say this makes me feel very uneasy, you have a government that can't be trusted working with a charity that can't be trusted? </span><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">As tough as it is, sometimes you have to stand by your beliefs because its the right thing to do and not pay lip service just to maybe get something you want? I guess the worry is now they've got their foot in the door what are they prepared to do, we already know they are willing to tow the party line? You see this is what happens when you lose all trust? The government have spent decades pushing and funding the narrative that we're all a bunch of fruit loops, Prof Wessley was knighted for that very same view and at every stage of the game whenever we've tried to speak up, defend ourselves against this dangerous misinformation, we've been portrayed as evil activists, threatening murder on anyone who disagrees? And now all of a sudden we're expected to believe the Government have had a change of heart and are going to start taking M.E for the serious physical illness that it is? </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">The first thing that needs to happen is to stop the DWP treating M.E sufferers and disability in the disgraceful manner that they do. M.E comes with numerous complex symptoms and yet we're required to have documented evidence that each symptom exists, That alone shows the absolute ignorance we're dealing with. I've actually invited DWP agents to spend the day, night or both because I can't bring on symptoms to cue for their pleasure within a certain short time frame of their visit? Naturally they declined. I also pointed out that's it's been well documented that while there is no argument that it exists, due to M.Es complexity there are as yet no established bio markers to scientifically prove it's existence for diagnosis purposes, so then how are we meant to give documented evidence for each symptom of a whole illness? </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgazscYJlLavBroOrEHklWvxf7OtB0pkvgArGfB9cvr7FoOPAoEPkQssEOeaxWYh7qcIcFvB5-j7h7OKYog_gzN3KlkVOfcHiCZiRm3AbhUWc5pG05ezdyW01yX6XHGUWa6qhqH7FnXldjfBUr066KVKVZELTmpwnzEE0gEn8i_eF2t8U5uqAwYuG6wsA/s275/download%20(5).jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="183" data-original-width="275" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgazscYJlLavBroOrEHklWvxf7OtB0pkvgArGfB9cvr7FoOPAoEPkQssEOeaxWYh7qcIcFvB5-j7h7OKYog_gzN3KlkVOfcHiCZiRm3AbhUWc5pG05ezdyW01yX6XHGUWa6qhqH7FnXldjfBUr066KVKVZELTmpwnzEE0gEn8i_eF2t8U5uqAwYuG6wsA/w640-h426/download%20(5).jpg" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">In a nut shell, they weren't interested, they just repeat the same spiel that they don't make the rules and are just doing what the government have asked them to do. This is why if Sajid Javid is serious about helping M.E sufferers I'm urging him to look into this and get it changed. Diagnosis, treatment and cure is important yes, but we have to live in the meantime, and living with better understanding and not treated as criminals by one of their own departments would be a great start. </span><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span>However </span>I for one wont be holding my breath that any action vaguely significant will be happening anytime soon, not that I want to be sitting here in another 31yrs saying " I told you so" but I think you catch my drift? </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">I'm interested to know how you are all feeling about this latest development ? </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"> Til next time, Stay Blessed</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"> Back Before Elvis</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4lKSE7ct1BE5h6EkwkGCKE1O36H9nyBMgn9h5rZeaZ4yjAkf6ED4Q7Z5ilWb_zQmfTghbPgNgkd73_1H18VRTcH2Uyuy3ow4slbuSJs1U4wlrOrvqVDnqh6RsWMuMPIA4-x8eIZdzfIZwOB7URj4wnzYQD2QQ8U6runJBc-6ooaIoncWpi3XC4MtYvQ/s100/154932063590102600.gif" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="100" data-original-width="74" height="100" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4lKSE7ct1BE5h6EkwkGCKE1O36H9nyBMgn9h5rZeaZ4yjAkf6ED4Q7Z5ilWb_zQmfTghbPgNgkd73_1H18VRTcH2Uyuy3ow4slbuSJs1U4wlrOrvqVDnqh6RsWMuMPIA4-x8eIZdzfIZwOB7URj4wnzYQD2QQ8U6runJBc-6ooaIoncWpi3XC4MtYvQ/s1600/154932063590102600.gif" width="74" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p>Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-71553425064750873312022-03-31T14:41:00.004-07:002022-04-01T01:37:47.293-07:00Social Media Madness?<p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir7iYvC3x_sqGWSLnTMG6eABReWcJu1scb_ARDR96j6AmClFq0LtUslz-0fmoV5I08OGeEa7vo3bIj4RLapC0VJC1a2NpQlypo9Os2Ek4IT8Z-pmvoiKdpHh6P2dbvYlh878tndKuw5PK7wz22su8a7h2R3sFEGU82rPbTNaucpe4I-Vv7ovZR0OxQPA/s1684/g3821.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1451" data-original-width="1684" height="276" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir7iYvC3x_sqGWSLnTMG6eABReWcJu1scb_ARDR96j6AmClFq0LtUslz-0fmoV5I08OGeEa7vo3bIj4RLapC0VJC1a2NpQlypo9Os2Ek4IT8Z-pmvoiKdpHh6P2dbvYlh878tndKuw5PK7wz22su8a7h2R3sFEGU82rPbTNaucpe4I-Vv7ovZR0OxQPA/s320/g3821.png" width="320" /></a></div></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">Social media (Do we have to?) some of you may have seen a recent post about me contemplating or rather constipating over deleting all my social media accounts? This was posted in a moment of absolute loathing at Facebooks decision to change how we run our pages, which I wasn't aware of until I went to post the normal way and couldn't. It had come without warning, so thinking it was a browser error? Windows update error? Whatever error? I used time I'll never get back trying to sort it, only I couldn't of course because some pre-pubescent genius at Facebook thought it would be a great idea to change everything and make navigation and use like a challenge off the crystal maze. But there was no prize, just a blood boiling frustration that was in danger of seeing my head explode (Not much to see there then?)</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOYqNvUUi7Hy6nr8iPzs8L4XOlk5kMqlWhhEbMUJwLr6mtbJlag-_ywTpo06QUwIvv2pgsr_RpzPSZs7tkAZyn2FujvfcsEghPYjFvHLay7f9Szmvm_vJFe7lUZCnnHnyStyFeOeElmFh99e0Iwb5izjJyESA-j1AGTujZVs5-wjgv90II9knUJh9tMg/s350/cry.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="245" data-original-width="350" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOYqNvUUi7Hy6nr8iPzs8L4XOlk5kMqlWhhEbMUJwLr6mtbJlag-_ywTpo06QUwIvv2pgsr_RpzPSZs7tkAZyn2FujvfcsEghPYjFvHLay7f9Szmvm_vJFe7lUZCnnHnyStyFeOeElmFh99e0Iwb5izjJyESA-j1AGTujZVs5-wjgv90II9knUJh9tMg/s320/cry.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size: large;">I very much have a hate/love relationship with social media the problem is I'm an over thinker who just happens to give a damn. Only the other day I went to someone's page to see how they were doing, only to find they'd gone, then of course you start worrying that they're okay? Turns out they were, but what it always highlights for me is it doesn't feel nice or good when someone just vanishes especially if you've had a long online connection. It's not personal of course, people leave all the time, and I totally understand why, but it's for that reason I really find deleting my accounts completely, hard to do .</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">I've been on social media since it started, you can't get around to everyone to say your leaving and I don't want to be giving absolutely everyone my personal email either, with three pages on Facebook, plus Twitter etc it would be impossible to do, my Mama Chill Facebook music page alone has over 10,000 followers, although I think alot of those turned up accidently thinking it was a site they could buy Cannabis? Over-thinking can be a curse, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who struggles with this dilemma?.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: arial;">There was a time when I would talk about deleting social media to live in the real world, but lets face it, like it or not the digital age has become the real world? I</span><span style="font-family: arial;">f we quit its just burying our head in the sand, pretending it isn't happening, we either grit our teeth, growl and go along for the frustrating digital ride, or we live in ignorant frustration getting someone else to deal with it for us?</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">My other problem is people, there are so many traumatized triggered souls on social media that you only have to fart in the wrong tone for someone to brand you something that ends in "ist" or "ic" ......or "unt" of course ? They tell you what, why and how you've written what you've written and what you meant. Despite attempts to explain they're on a totally different ward to the one I'm on, it makes nada of a difference, and you find yourself using precious energy trying to defend as their followers and friends pile in wolf pack stylee to add their own "Ist" or "ic" .......oh go on then, or "Unt" of course? </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size: large;">Being a writer these days is like running the gauntlet every time you post something, but I refuse to re-edit myself to appease the minority . For those that have followed over the years you will have probably gaged my writing style by now, honest, black comedic, sarcastic, ironic, ranty, have I mentioned sarcastic? The one thing I would never ever do is personally mock someone......oh, hang on a minute, I think I once referred to Boris as looking like a regurgitated Honey Monster, but I was kinda hoping you'd forgive me that one? </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-large;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFafHUmTZem51emTHMbJga3erjYkS3t7ovQkT4VhxnzwBMroszHFV2UhP4xENIPozer2c7aaGsFY0nWcrvJpDNs6osa_IMEwlHiiE8Eph3w9dGsPphFPr8dEUObnFpPkzsDU99EgmZsq27xbcHnLoTM05O4E9p21lvc0RO8cvk2yYec6h3jbDUX4yzkQ/s311/B0Fc5ZCIAAAYi6G.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="311" data-original-width="310" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFafHUmTZem51emTHMbJga3erjYkS3t7ovQkT4VhxnzwBMroszHFV2UhP4xENIPozer2c7aaGsFY0nWcrvJpDNs6osa_IMEwlHiiE8Eph3w9dGsPphFPr8dEUObnFpPkzsDU99EgmZsq27xbcHnLoTM05O4E9p21lvc0RO8cvk2yYec6h3jbDUX4yzkQ/s1600/B0Fc5ZCIAAAYi6G.jpg" width="310" /></a></div><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size: large;">But apart from that, just as someone that has seen & experienced much over my Jurassic decades, including disability & self-body struggles, as one human being to another I would never be purposely cruel, in fact whenever I have written about someone else's story, I always let them read it first and give a thumbs up before publishing. As a naïve musician back in the day I was often caught out when reading an interview I'd done, with whole paragraphs twisted and taken out of context, it can not only be damaging and lose you opportunities, it also makes you feel stupid, shafted and helpless. It is something I have never forgotten and the reason I prefer to be the writer I have chosen to be, one that supports others. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">Saying that, the one thing I am rather brutal on in posts, is when it comes to injustice, the government, its lies and its departments treatment of people, but you don't have to agree of course, it's a truth that I stand by, it wont necessarily be yours? </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">So I have come to the conclusion the only way I'm going to cope with this social media madness without deleting my accounts is to step back every now and then, to holla my own "ucks" & " ollocks" (no "unts") and go sit on the naughty step until I'm chilled again, to give my eyes a break from rolling at the often patronizing, condescending "I'm right, you're wrong" </span><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size: large;">responses, the "Do as you're told" wagging finger brigade. To give my head a break from shaking at those who haven't understood why Twitter only allow 280 words for a post and go on to respond with a following 32 comments ? Stoooooop enough already ? </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size: large;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTVC3zDb1Du1UBnwps45SKJL0WC7oEY10Dy5SKQ6917ombnSHa2HjvZQuM4v3SsKExJBWeQKmpUh-REZrAFaB0X3LQlCZmFFRL5Qswfrr00Y8epP8quW7dSsoJpOIGJu3Ul1ilThCQ74cDmkiGaBug6WgukbktjQYO2BphrqWh3laVmLVfF24qpFUkIw/s1000/HD-wallpaper-keep-calm-poster-advertising-design-great-britain-history-keep-calm-propaganda-second-world-war-world-war-two.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTVC3zDb1Du1UBnwps45SKJL0WC7oEY10Dy5SKQ6917ombnSHa2HjvZQuM4v3SsKExJBWeQKmpUh-REZrAFaB0X3LQlCZmFFRL5Qswfrr00Y8epP8quW7dSsoJpOIGJu3Ul1ilThCQ74cDmkiGaBug6WgukbktjQYO2BphrqWh3laVmLVfF24qpFUkIw/s320/HD-wallpaper-keep-calm-poster-advertising-design-great-britain-history-keep-calm-propaganda-second-world-war-world-war-two.jpg" width="256" /></a></div><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size: large;">Oh, one last thing, 3D images, I'm sure they are meant for scenery photos, wildlife yadda yadda?, I can't tell you the times i've nearly soiled myself while scrolling and someones giant 3D selfie head has popped up.....Whaaaaaaa!</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size: large;">Is there anything good about social media you might be wondering? Well yeah, you lot of course? Heeeey someone pour the cheese. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size: large;">Feel free to come share your own social media frustrations with me? </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size: large;"> Til next time, Stay Blessed</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size: large;"> Back Before Elvis </span></span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-large;"> </span></div><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: arial;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja20GItQK-MmnJlQZ3Edl216Y7tsG9zcRpnz9EzRbIfOwdLEBxDaOcH9_RJQ6V9Yqs3SB0eoEGlCNKHQ7rjHS69lW-gMZb6II4TnaE4BBbsVAyrUV1fEo-S1Swo_OX3hJ8T-EBF_j71ET9igAredmMyN7k2XdNxRgydiz-Hg_XBgh9cBhe9XYkC2osLQ/s100/154932063590102600.gif" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="100" data-original-width="74" height="100" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja20GItQK-MmnJlQZ3Edl216Y7tsG9zcRpnz9EzRbIfOwdLEBxDaOcH9_RJQ6V9Yqs3SB0eoEGlCNKHQ7rjHS69lW-gMZb6II4TnaE4BBbsVAyrUV1fEo-S1Swo_OX3hJ8T-EBF_j71ET9igAredmMyN7k2XdNxRgydiz-Hg_XBgh9cBhe9XYkC2osLQ/s1600/154932063590102600.gif" width="74" /></a></div><br /><br /> </span></span><p></p></div>Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-27719835207656037732021-11-10T00:38:00.001-08:002021-11-10T00:38:39.490-08:00M.E isn't N.I.C.E?<p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Ever since the N.I.C.E (National Institute for Health and Care Excellence) debacle over delayed publishing of the new M.E guidelines I've struggled to write this article, in fact I've buried my head and done everything possible to avoid it and I didn't know why? Until now that is, and while what I'm about to say is incredibly hard to write, I feel I owe it to myself and the M.E community and to all those still uneducated and unaware of the magnitude of abuse dished out to sufferers by the medical profession, media and wider community. For many sufferers the abuse also came from family members and so called friends and in many cases still does.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5X1f_6-Bc_4CAqI0tvKSVFBuO_692_aeZBKYi3fo3CetllAtAOruBHRnusxxW2d_PTba_tzE86Xfz-o5ilvs4OpEMGoPQe_YshwOt9ydSXlkbuUu7oM75mJ6PPOgO4uTdxFHElQGh5VZ2/s1275/polkadot+shoes.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="911" data-original-width="1275" height="458" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5X1f_6-Bc_4CAqI0tvKSVFBuO_692_aeZBKYi3fo3CetllAtAOruBHRnusxxW2d_PTba_tzE86Xfz-o5ilvs4OpEMGoPQe_YshwOt9ydSXlkbuUu7oM75mJ6PPOgO4uTdxFHElQGh5VZ2/w640-h458/polkadot+shoes.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">I have suddenly realized, as an M.E sufferer of over three decades that I have become conditioned to the abuse, the government deemed it acceptable and therefore the rest of society normalized it and eventually I accepted it too. I'm not sure when exactly, there was no definitive moment, facing physical and mental abuse just became a regular norm, but It reminds me of the NSPCA advert where a small upset child is in a cot and the narrator says something about the child knowing that even when he cries, nobody will come, so eventually he stops crying altogether?</span><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">With typical ignorance, one social media follower asked why if it was that bad I and other M.E sufferers didn't report it? My answer to that is/was, who to? Unless you were there, living through it, you would have no idea of the horrendously frightening epic widespread ignorance and the accepted abuse often dished out, as I stated earlier we are talking government, the medical profession, media to name but a few. I'm one of the lucky ones, in the sense that I'm still alive to tell the tales, many aren't, another reason why I felt I had to write this. My own personal three decades of abuse by the very people trained to help and save lives would fill a book and far too long for here, but this isn't a blast at the NHS, I know there are many good people, but I cannot and will not deny the truth that many have lived either, and remember, this wasn't just the NHS it was society as a whole.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCc9R9y-tNQp9u1FAqAORi_IZnP2NZaN5vT2XFq7JuH5nYl8C_ueEWZH49-XOk-8nlQfPFSBkX_rNrO3B1LBfQqpLYmwfEPtwRq70wFispPZ_QTKHkeK4TwYV4ckRIymynfuuINKwE9U-k/s2048/g969+%25282%2529.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1452" data-original-width="2048" height="454" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCc9R9y-tNQp9u1FAqAORi_IZnP2NZaN5vT2XFq7JuH5nYl8C_ueEWZH49-XOk-8nlQfPFSBkX_rNrO3B1LBfQqpLYmwfEPtwRq70wFispPZ_QTKHkeK4TwYV4ckRIymynfuuINKwE9U-k/w640-h454/g969+%25282%2529.png" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">I, like many were constantly bullied into believing we had a "serious mental illness" or was "going crazy" and even though I knew it to be untrue, it was confusing and extremely scary trying to hold on to rationality and truth when so many powerful individuals and organizations are against you, but it was a standard diagnosis born out of ignorance, often given to M.E sufferers without even being seen by any psychologist/psychiatrist. The media also jumped on the bandwagon and had a field day vilifying sufferers, as lazy, attention seekers, mental and dangerous activists. When all many were doing were fighting to be believed while trying to hang on to their sanity.</span></span></div><p></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">And so fast forward to 2021 and the result of the eventually published N.I.C.E guidelines on M.E on 29th October :</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"> <a href="https://www.nice.org.uk/news/article/nice-me-cfs-guideline-outlines-steps-for-better-diagnosis-and-management">https://www.nice.org.uk/news/article/nice-me-cfs-guideline-outlines-steps-for-better-diagnosis-and-management</a> </span><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">While it looks like a step in the right direction, it still feels like biscuit crumbs, and at the end of the day it will depend on the action. M.E has been classified as a neurological disease by the World health organization since 1969 but that evidently has, over the decades made no difference whatsoever to belief or treatment or vilification and so until the change becomes real and is acknowledged by those throughout all organizations and we all start to see and feel that change I think many of us will remain in numb, emotionless, abuse accepted damaged mode? </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikO78_1g2oHN-QlNqJIYk5x2iXJ781LGL8zE9xRv1UQuJNDL6a1ql389ixv3MkXdOxvaahqR_hyw1IenW3aeDWdwL7YnA4ylNlwqN6GRZ4FMKDeGnxzFBv3sAkynou6_Rxu3aAzY2fYNTC/s1024/hope2.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="512" data-original-width="1024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikO78_1g2oHN-QlNqJIYk5x2iXJ781LGL8zE9xRv1UQuJNDL6a1ql389ixv3MkXdOxvaahqR_hyw1IenW3aeDWdwL7YnA4ylNlwqN6GRZ4FMKDeGnxzFBv3sAkynou6_Rxu3aAzY2fYNTC/w640-h320/hope2.png" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">I, like many have been writing and campaigning for decades with very little change, and just like the little boy in the Ad that ran out of tears, I think regarding M.E I've become exhausted and run out of words, but hopefully not hope? We still have to hold on to hope, that from the N.I.C.E guidelines things WILL get better, if not for us then for those who come after us, and not just for M.E but for any other new illnesses that may come , lessons must be learnt so that no individual getting physically sick is dismissed , faced with physical and mental abuse, mistreated and neglected. "Hope" such a small word, but there within it lies life and death and so we have to hope this time actions WILL speak louder than words. </span><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"> Until next time, stay blessed</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"> Back Before Elvis </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHXRz7USFz5Z1bKZBZoefW8gE1DMvw3uIrj67vN2P0m1bGMyIwGCzhYCdGvC68f0oKRwnqSLcBjyuZLyOnOfC_FdIv7qhEi0GUNq5684TwkRc7ALcnQx5MPx7zcyGMACtJnum2-F0oCxSF/s100/154932063590102600.gif" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="100" data-original-width="74" height="100" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHXRz7USFz5Z1bKZBZoefW8gE1DMvw3uIrj67vN2P0m1bGMyIwGCzhYCdGvC68f0oKRwnqSLcBjyuZLyOnOfC_FdIv7qhEi0GUNq5684TwkRc7ALcnQx5MPx7zcyGMACtJnum2-F0oCxSF/s0/154932063590102600.gif" width="74" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><p></p>Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-52022757006940936392021-08-25T11:17:00.002-07:002021-08-25T11:17:25.152-07:00Minister of Dickery ?<p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b style="font-family: inherit;">Some of you may remember that back in June, I went on a writing spree.?.....yes another one, I've lost count of the letters and emails written over the past thirty years in the very pin head size of a chance that someone, somewhere, would see sense and stop the abuse and manslaughter of the sick and disabled. I also raised a number of specific concerns, the treatment of Sick and disabled under the present </b><b>Government</b><b style="font-family: inherit;"> via D.W.P, increase in Mental health and pushing people over the edge under the present </b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b>system which is ultra disablist despite their spiel. I also criticized the loaded questions both on paper and also at assessment stage that are impossible to answer honestly and fairly and yet people are forced to do so ? </b></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjApz3rN5y6XSbO3fi5NPsknyu3mewYWTpSqs3JQxEpCd1RqNoCEIbzUjHPmnFeOri9u2JPofMBqSYmLx6cjomguyR3eD_ZdNKWQflu8B9yu3EINOGX1DEIuXK3mBPJs49bfoQZXRVDnliY/s2048/ME+Fighting+Back.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1380" data-original-width="2048" height="270" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjApz3rN5y6XSbO3fi5NPsknyu3mewYWTpSqs3JQxEpCd1RqNoCEIbzUjHPmnFeOri9u2JPofMBqSYmLx6cjomguyR3eD_ZdNKWQflu8B9yu3EINOGX1DEIuXK3mBPJs49bfoQZXRVDnliY/w400-h270/ME+Fighting+Back.png" width="400" /></a></span></div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>As for Myalgicencephalomyelitis (M.E) I stated that </b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b style="font-family: inherit;">while M.E has
been </b><b>recognized</b><b style="font-family: inherit;"> as a complex chronic disabling illness with multi symptoms &
listed by the World health organisation as a neurological disease since 1969 at
this stage it cannot be medically proven. On June 9</b><sup style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: bold;">th</sup><b style="font-family: inherit;">
at the European roundtable on M.E hosted by Brussels that I was invited to
attend virtually by Charity Invest In ME Research, Professor Kristian
Sommerfelt (European M.E Research Group & European M.E Clinicians Council ) stated that due to
lack of funding & therefore research, while the world knows M.E exists,
there is at this stage no Biomarkers to medically prove its existence.</b></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDUIZQBF6qWdlpM8pbHlgWN9wbQa64SEdo9HRtuZXgNS-E_vpUojZzaqCZXZmtiAkvwPuiRkSKop3cicjauMFmHxuU-52wadzmUvNRIe4idQkS82jmJ3lHke2aHcslBPyy86luQUL8PhSt/s512/unnamed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="134" data-original-width="512" height="105" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDUIZQBF6qWdlpM8pbHlgWN9wbQa64SEdo9HRtuZXgNS-E_vpUojZzaqCZXZmtiAkvwPuiRkSKop3cicjauMFmHxuU-52wadzmUvNRIe4idQkS82jmJ3lHke2aHcslBPyy86luQUL8PhSt/w400-h105/unnamed.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><b style="font-family: inherit;">Therefore it
is medically impossible for any M.E sufferer to give evidence for something for which
there is no evidence. If M.E as an illness cannot be medically proven then
neither can all the symptoms that are part of that illness?</b></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b style="font-family: inherit;">You won't be suprised to hear that although the Assessment centre contacted me the day after </b><b>receiving</b><b style="font-family: inherit;"> the letter I've not heard from them since, despite telling me they would investigate and get back to me within 28 days ?</b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b style="font-family: inherit;">The response from D.W.P was that they couldn't accept my complaint because it didn't fit the criteria? </b></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b style="font-family: inherit;">"Eh, come again......surely I can complain about what I want to complain about? " </b></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Apparently no longer, there is a criteria and they will only accept complaints that fit that criteria. For instance, if an assessor says they will ring at a certain time but they don't ? You can complain, but you can't complain about the system, how it's run, how it's delivered, or the often derogatory, condescending soul destroying wording of the reports, you can't complain because you think it's wrong, none of that fits their Criteria, so as the woman who was told to call me stated, we can't accept your complaint, so it can't be looked at as a complaint. (Now I've heard it all) ......</b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Well I thought I'd heard it all until today when I received an email from D.W.P, turns out that Minister for disability Justin Tomlinson couldn't be arsed to deal with my letter about the treatment of the sick and disabled because he gets so many, so he gave it to the D.W.P to respond to instead, how ironic? Below was their response, it could have been written to anyone, it certainly addressed nothing stated in my letter and was/is an absolute cop out, just the standard waffle, the standard lies that we've all become accustomed to. </b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYr6walFrLU15zQfZja7WKObDJGa-s47nnmJDNNWXxIhTJyrTrtk0jNWt_zr9E_lat8fWLKdJe8ss99nM-HXSnB4q3xwlaAGjOBAikXBJzLR6kTnp5NA-l5k8WSNiN73XaGefue1brpG0i/s2048/Doc1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1497" height="695" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYr6walFrLU15zQfZja7WKObDJGa-s47nnmJDNNWXxIhTJyrTrtk0jNWt_zr9E_lat8fWLKdJe8ss99nM-HXSnB4q3xwlaAGjOBAikXBJzLR6kTnp5NA-l5k8WSNiN73XaGefue1brpG0i/w604-h695/Doc1.jpg" width="604" /></a></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZcfbsESbBobebSYZoA9ah_yEBVBImDiT5-i2P3ntI_h9YuPNeSZky3JeEP6g8dUtqxo8-PRXfEA2uOMvTzz4hkPEDU6VMTqUUR4YO3fRFZ3Rsn0Vgk2jM27nhUJAf2toy8rFPfYPkVmuE/s2048/Doc2.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1386" height="750" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZcfbsESbBobebSYZoA9ah_yEBVBImDiT5-i2P3ntI_h9YuPNeSZky3JeEP6g8dUtqxo8-PRXfEA2uOMvTzz4hkPEDU6VMTqUUR4YO3fRFZ3Rsn0Vgk2jM27nhUJAf2toy8rFPfYPkVmuE/w576-h750/Doc2.jpg" width="576" /></a></div><br /><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGTvtZbJIWV_gXqdWy5CB3BgpqlVtjKkGYi6Fy18i4AGIvhuAtcjL-Uv7NH-DOr6jHgl6ppDIrbwHz1UsePHIQMC-CHLtwUWBP7yx1fffYwNcs6vZAYW7H9q_Z0vcOx1ttpjnDti-1W9xo/s1901/Doc3.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1008" data-original-width="1901" height="282" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGTvtZbJIWV_gXqdWy5CB3BgpqlVtjKkGYi6Fy18i4AGIvhuAtcjL-Uv7NH-DOr6jHgl6ppDIrbwHz1UsePHIQMC-CHLtwUWBP7yx1fffYwNcs6vZAYW7H9q_Z0vcOx1ttpjnDti-1W9xo/w584-h282/Doc3.jpg" width="584" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>I, like many am so exhausted, not only by the illness itself but by decades of using up precious energy fighting for justice against those determined to hold on to outdated views, those who blatantly put up blocks and those who continue to lie, abuse and mistreat, but as individuals and together we must keep fighting even when it seems futile, No matter how weary, we must keep moving forward in hope, hope for the day there will be justice, hope for future generations, hope, that one day what we are living through will be deemed unacceptable, when those responsible for the abuse and mistreatment of 1000's are tried for crimes against humanity instead of given a knighthood? And hope that one day we will have a genuine compassionate Minister of Disability instead of the Minister of Dickery that we are often given?......We can but hope?</b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><b> Until Next Time, Stay Blessed</b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><b> Back Before Elvis</b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><b> </b></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqQ9lIgk1-WZK-QY7OZew21XTdGp8YBl-yfG3C32WDvgk5Stws_JIp9RNjf7WjBgCNh4dKZGNk-GL9SLsuWst1omb-56rmEpHqC2mXOLX8k-vtSeJ2_BElWqE3lp9IhBxS-msI4ZKG1JRy/s100/154932063590102600.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="100" data-original-width="74" height="100" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqQ9lIgk1-WZK-QY7OZew21XTdGp8YBl-yfG3C32WDvgk5Stws_JIp9RNjf7WjBgCNh4dKZGNk-GL9SLsuWst1omb-56rmEpHqC2mXOLX8k-vtSeJ2_BElWqE3lp9IhBxS-msI4ZKG1JRy/s0/154932063590102600.gif" width="74" /></a></b></span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /> </b></span><p></p></div>Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-76947625659102544322021-04-21T01:12:00.012-07:002021-04-21T05:24:00.784-07:00It ain't Football? <p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I have to say I'm not really </span>surprised<span style="font-family: inherit;"> by the latest Football </span>debacle<span style="font-family: inherit;"> and news of this </span>European<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Super League, the club owners have got away with far too much for far too long so this has been an opportunity waiting to happen. I fell in love with football as a young whippersnapper before girls went to games let alone played, in junior school there was a boy I fancied that was a Celtic fan but he wasn't ready to be interested in girls, in fact he'd pull that face that little boys pull whenever girls are mentioned, the one that says "I'd rather eat worms than talk to you" I'd watch as he and the rest of the boys gathered to talk football on a Monday morning before class began and so I hatched a plan to follow Celtic too in the hope he'd like me, sadly it didn't work but h</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">aving spent Saturday afternoons watching Football on TV with my Dad & Grandad I went on to follow my home team Watford (Graham Taylor will always be the best Manager Watford has ever had, he not only changed the club, he bought Community to Watford) I also supported Arsenal, I'll shout it until I've no breath left but back then Football was real Football played by men.</span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDudFx2sApBM5QU2ORSi4hCz5lLOTmRrx7nEqmTAot7KWfDkaRZ9riO-QsCKObb5-soRiKb5dYGHyU2XWJsTKHEXDRmIEu1MCo1UiDiYHIvx6HvLp6I2maRWBSDrayTkdFAD-l3Y_DChtc/s2052/g854.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="755" data-original-width="2052" height="148" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDudFx2sApBM5QU2ORSi4hCz5lLOTmRrx7nEqmTAot7KWfDkaRZ9riO-QsCKObb5-soRiKb5dYGHyU2XWJsTKHEXDRmIEu1MCo1UiDiYHIvx6HvLp6I2maRWBSDrayTkdFAD-l3Y_DChtc/w400-h148/g854.png" width="400" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;">I feel excited just at the thought of reliving memories. Things that made Football Football, like when it rained, the pitch, made up of just good old earth and grass turned into a hippopotamus mud bath, if players went down they often slid the length of the pitch.</span></span><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibw_abq3l3P7TnEBxFWWqv_YQFTpCjKQfsaZF0eGnilrXZRn8_-KXdVl4NkPgt_fXY6Z0LpPwJ6lWSsPIAN2Q69SQMITZ1HgJFs8LMc4cpigcd5MdlXaASPihoWnDvjxXYK89wqQaEhp2W/s603/article-2295492-18C3C475000005DC-358_470x603.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="603" data-original-width="470" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibw_abq3l3P7TnEBxFWWqv_YQFTpCjKQfsaZF0eGnilrXZRn8_-KXdVl4NkPgt_fXY6Z0LpPwJ6lWSsPIAN2Q69SQMITZ1HgJFs8LMc4cpigcd5MdlXaASPihoWnDvjxXYK89wqQaEhp2W/w311-h400/article-2295492-18C3C475000005DC-358_470x603.jpg" width="311" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;">Games were played with such passion that it was common for players to crack heads, fans watching would do that thing where you suck in air and start to turn your head away, followed by "Ouch" even through a TV screen you felt it as though it had happened to you, sometimes the player would just play on, blood rushing down one side of their face until it started running into their eyes and buggered up their ability to see and then they would reluctantly go off to get a bandage wrapped around their head like an </span><span style="text-align: justify;">Egyptian</span><span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;"> mummy so that they could come back on and finish the game before </span><span style="text-align: justify;">getting</span><span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;"> stitches, others would get stitches and come on again later. By the end of a game the players were so exhausted having given everything they would often be lying on their backs, scattered all over the pitch, head to toe caked in mud, blood and sweat, raw and real, THAT was football.</span></span><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWnEJApypA1o8JF_gNMYM35pLDc7qY7HZV_h0k35EJC9R7TrcBdzaXdMtns0tg6Y-FFao8mpVapae7nsWbrVzrXghu56rNdNkkszwlzUgguRHglmZdfmiD56I0bnlwCYXR8F-RlxVyNHob/s1895/1836102_Getty-Images-Fee_Football-Italy-v-England-1_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqTjADwmDXSHte1ABwqAhyRsQsjAMXPy_r1EulF_cCjQQ.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1185" data-original-width="1895" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWnEJApypA1o8JF_gNMYM35pLDc7qY7HZV_h0k35EJC9R7TrcBdzaXdMtns0tg6Y-FFao8mpVapae7nsWbrVzrXghu56rNdNkkszwlzUgguRHglmZdfmiD56I0bnlwCYXR8F-RlxVyNHob/w400-h250/1836102_Getty-Images-Fee_Football-Italy-v-England-1_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqTjADwmDXSHte1ABwqAhyRsQsjAMXPy_r1EulF_cCjQQ.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">You'd know every player in the team first and last name, the manager, the coach, and if anyone dare leave the club and not stay until retirement it was a crime & the topic of conversation amongst fans for weeks, if they were in the championship league but got a place in the premier they were eventually forgiven </span></span><span style="font-size: 16pt; text-align: justify;"> </span><span style="font-size: large; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">because you wanted them to do well, but if they moved to a club in the same
league it was the ultimate betrayal</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> and
they were seen as traitors for life, and then there was the testimonials, a match in honour of a player who had given long loyal service to a club. I
find it sad there will be many young football fans that wont even know what
that is, because players rarely stay long enough to even get their wages at the end of the week these days let alone reach a
testimonial.</span></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="text-align: justify;">The way in which Football has been allowed to change sickens me, the owners of the clubs are to blame, selling out for greed time and time again until for me and </span><span style="text-align: justify;">I'm</span><span style="text-align: justify;"> sure many others the game has become </span><span style="text-align: justify;">unrecognizable</span><span style="text-align: justify;"> , no morals, no honour, no loyalty, no heart and soul, just money and pure greed, and that is why I fell out of love, football is no longer football in my humble opinion and this Super Europeon League is just another nail in the coffin. But </span><span style="text-align: justify;">I</span><span style="text-align: justify;"> don't think Football is alone, I've seen that same greed creep into many other things and I can't help but feel far far more frightened by this greed spreading throughout our </span><span style="text-align: justify;">society</span><span style="text-align: justify;"> than I do about Covid ? But I'm thankful I at least got to experience Football before it became a game of handbags, expensive handbags mind, but handbags all the same. Personally I think there will be an almighty backlash from the fans, and rightly so, will it be a little too little too late? Only time will tell over these coming days and weeks, but whatever happens I don't think football will ever be the same again, feel free to hit me up with your thoughts?</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="text-align: justify;">UPDATE: So after publishing I heard the good news that all clubs have withdrawn & the Super European League wont be going ahead, a much deserved win for the fans, fans who I think have been treated quite despicably over the years by some of the top clubs, call me a skeptic but I have a feeling this will only be temporary?</span></span></p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxJPV1O05J8n4p4DNKo7OlpxHlPA0hEQe9QgbjRaAw5B2J81-1YNqvhmSM069eo4iqm9EAUKEmFE8y981Ol1P2Xe1Bw0xgUwKxxknKgKnRtxPdvdIbctdVzULdYGtWyimDhQSSDQwJl-cZ/s1200/0017776188_10.jpg" style="clear: left; display: inline; float: left; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-large; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="901" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxJPV1O05J8n4p4DNKo7OlpxHlPA0hEQe9QgbjRaAw5B2J81-1YNqvhmSM069eo4iqm9EAUKEmFE8y981Ol1P2Xe1Bw0xgUwKxxknKgKnRtxPdvdIbctdVzULdYGtWyimDhQSSDQwJl-cZ/w300-h400/0017776188_10.jpg" width="300" /></a><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="text-align: justify;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large; text-align: justify;">While</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-large; text-align: justify;"> </span><span style="font-size: large; text-align: justify;">I'm</span><span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"> here let me tell you about "Your Not Singing Anymore" from true Football fan and Folkstress Minnie Birch who took a collection of football songs and reworked them: <span style="color: #b45f06;"><b>" </b></span></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #b45f06;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;">Football Chants are one of the lasting oral traditions of </span><span class="peekaboo-text" id="package_description_0" style="background-color: white; text-align: left;">our time, they are sung by hundreds of thousands of people who do not consider themselves ‘folkies’ ‘musicians’ ‘historians’ ‘social commentators’ but this is exactly what I think these</span></span><span class="bcTruncateMore" style="background-color: white; text-align: left;"><span class="peekaboo-text" id="package_description_0"><span style="font-size: large;"> people are</span><span style="font-size: 12px;">."</span></span></span></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b> </b> </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">If you fancy taken a listen and purchasing a copy head over to her <a href="https://minniebirch.bandcamp.com/track/my-bonnie-lies-over-the-ocean-traditional">Bandcamp</a> page.</span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"> Til Next Time, Stay Blessed</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"> Back Before Elvis.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic5nR7UYZO7Fg6CByrl7TjTOLJfnBi1Fg9gXHhOn-8gzA4PL6yK-7j-5CTCWqHYj85hk5_r_LSH7ccSOYxJcoOWA_yzJpOeA6bI2bQPmS4S_UOLLNqOMu_TruIKp8Q0BkQI5Y-xTE3Md2h/s100/154932063590102600.gif" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="100" data-original-width="74" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic5nR7UYZO7Fg6CByrl7TjTOLJfnBi1Fg9gXHhOn-8gzA4PL6yK-7j-5CTCWqHYj85hk5_r_LSH7ccSOYxJcoOWA_yzJpOeA6bI2bQPmS4S_UOLLNqOMu_TruIKp8Q0BkQI5Y-xTE3Md2h/s0/154932063590102600.gif" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></span></p>Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-22262131276810661392021-03-17T01:41:00.003-07:002021-03-17T03:06:53.125-07:00The M.E Name Blame Game? <p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuP89_p8SyX4mJ-0ienLPyqR56Xb5B-KpPs0jKhosXBC6zpv-gPteKCrB-O-tj2xU_LQZVONc6ZTsV2Yn3h5hvczVkjyM5qNMIyVQi-LZ9xnIZwwN67ptm9rE3zStju8YNTvjI6eS2kAXr/s219/152795650194539362+%25281%2529.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><img border="0" data-original-height="219" data-original-width="172" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuP89_p8SyX4mJ-0ienLPyqR56Xb5B-KpPs0jKhosXBC6zpv-gPteKCrB-O-tj2xU_LQZVONc6ZTsV2Yn3h5hvczVkjyM5qNMIyVQi-LZ9xnIZwwN67ptm9rE3zStju8YNTvjI6eS2kAXr/s0/152795650194539362+%25281%2529.jpg" /></a></div>Before I start, let me just say that I can only write from my own personal experience as an M.E Sufferer of 30yrs, while hopefully many of you will relate? Everyone's experience and levels of illness and views on the subject will be different.........Right, now grab a biscuit and I'll begin</span><span style="text-align: justify;">.....</span></div></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><br />It seems whenever M.E/CFS appears anywhere there's outrage of varying degrees, and yes I still prefer to use a dot in-between the M & E as was originally often used </span></div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">...BUT, </span>originally<span style="font-family: inherit;"> before that, even though the word Myalgic encephalomyelitis (M.E) existed, some believe as far back as 20's/ 30's the name the media and medical </span>profession<span style="font-family: inherit;"> referred to it as in the 80's before the word M.E was widely known was "Yuppie Flu" ... was I hacked off? Not really, I was confused more than anything, It was always reported</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> as an illness that posh people with high flying jobs in the city were going down with, I came from a broken home, lived on a council estate and worked in a newsagents ? </span></span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span>So when anyone spoke to me about my "Yuppie Flu" it felt uncomfortable, but nowhere as near as uncomfortable as the illness itself with it's barrage of </span>symptoms<span> invading my body en-masse .</span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEtqkbNFuIk3D2Qgrt56D-9bpCU1dxgVLFSf0ec_8OiElEOaOeJw0kSnX5C6Iv380TvpfPV90F_1XhHsHkU5Werq-SrU4737oA06lznPCJlZ78D4-n8kC8hH27WYWkFIutdIYwd4_OXphJ/s2048/g3817.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1066" data-original-width="2048" height="334" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEtqkbNFuIk3D2Qgrt56D-9bpCU1dxgVLFSf0ec_8OiElEOaOeJw0kSnX5C6Iv380TvpfPV90F_1XhHsHkU5Werq-SrU4737oA06lznPCJlZ78D4-n8kC8hH27WYWkFIutdIYwd4_OXphJ/w640-h334/g3817.png" width="640" /></a></span></div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Of course I believe as many do M.E & CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) are two entirely different conditions that have over the decades wrongly been defined as the same</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> illness. While in the UK "Yuppie Flu" was later referred to as M.E, the CFS term coined in the USA was then wrongly adopted over here and started being used instead of M.E or alongside, and while many of us argued and battled over many years to get that changed at the time, it's sadly remained. Over the years there has been a constant deluge of wrong info on M.E going out into the world & so many sufferers wronged that we have to weigh up what takes priority, that's not to say the M.E/CFS name usage doesn't matter, it does, but I believe there are more pressing things in which our energy is needed?</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOrInXiaXirGTnmWluNOZkIB8SDxCoJX4yrAue1CL1XHvs_r-ob6YNZX9y9GP0ewbZsW6CRQ8LVuG68IvlkS3-Rgfs07GlP5KVoHgHN4JKeLJUk-Q_iTNEeXoAcIs8rrm3SXho_rTxYbsV/s1733/pics+071.jpg71+%25285%2529.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1733" data-original-width="1066" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOrInXiaXirGTnmWluNOZkIB8SDxCoJX4yrAue1CL1XHvs_r-ob6YNZX9y9GP0ewbZsW6CRQ8LVuG68IvlkS3-Rgfs07GlP5KVoHgHN4JKeLJUk-Q_iTNEeXoAcIs8rrm3SXho_rTxYbsV/s320/pics+071.jpg71+%25285%2529.jpg" /></a></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Thanks to outdated data, zilch Government help, an ignorant medical & media profession and no support apart from M.E Charities, most of the battling to raise awareness, funding and bringing change is fought by those living with the condition themselves and Carers which means when you have to fraction in getting your clothes on in the morning and making it to the bathroom for a Wee it really does come down to having to choose our M.E battles. There are many victims in this M.E/CFS debacle and I don't think it serves any positive purpose at this stage as an M.E community to alienate a group of people (CFS) that through no fault of their own have been dumped under a wrong Umbrella?</span></div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And to be honest it goes way beyond M.E/CFS, that term is actually just a dumping ground for anything, everything and everyone that those in the medical </span>profession<span style="font-family: inherit;"> can't diagnose or are too lazy to diagnose correctly, I'm sure it will be no </span>surprise<span style="font-family: inherit;"> to know it's political? I have it on good authority from consultants themselves speaking off record that it's not good </span>statistically<span style="font-family: inherit;"> to have floating patients in the system, GP </span>surgeries<span style="font-family: inherit;"> and </span>Hospitals<span style="font-family: inherit;"> are run as businesses with an eye on keeping costs down and </span>targets<span style="font-family: inherit;"> expected to be met, for that reason anyone presenting with symptoms that tests can't show up are often put under the M.E umbrella because it keeps them moving through the system.</span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">It was evident when </span>I was invited onto<span style="font-family: inherit;"> one of the first pilot M.E Clinics back in the day that many of the people there did not have M.E, after chatting with them over the weeks and hearing their stories it became clear that the majority were suffering from acute reactive depression due to extreme stressful life circumstances and nothing to do with M.E there are too many cases to detail here but there were a couple of women who clearly shouldn't have been in the group and weren't getting the psychological one to one help they </span>evidently<span style="font-family: inherit;"> wanted and needed but were just too poorly to say, as ludicrous as it sounds seeing as I'm not a doctor, just well </span>knowledged <span style="font-family: inherit;"> on mental health and especially depressive illness I actually spoke to those leading the clinic and they agreed to chat to the women to see if that was the case, turned out it was, and the ladies were removed from the group and given the correct treatment needed, but there were others that were depressed due to being lonely which was impacting on what quite clearly were things like </span>arthritis and anxiety disorders, there were no symptoms of M.E, I was quite appalled by numerous cases of lazy diagnosis.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMAsNLjzP0aoYOhvLjvXPUKGDUtMTXIl9v0JaPUJdhkeRJjgixXyPQq-4tSNYro01OV0U7AACkZRIir065RPCjRcwFdWjspfwX707m_FxgeuBsW1OgN1dtS8xHfhiOv-rHLgTqiB_04umS/s1130/Marshamallow+Head.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1130" data-original-width="866" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMAsNLjzP0aoYOhvLjvXPUKGDUtMTXIl9v0JaPUJdhkeRJjgixXyPQq-4tSNYro01OV0U7AACkZRIir065RPCjRcwFdWjspfwX707m_FxgeuBsW1OgN1dtS8xHfhiOv-rHLgTqiB_04umS/s320/Marshamallow+Head.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">I believe the only way this will eventually get sorted is when there is a definitive physical diagnostic test and that and only that is when it will separate the M.E from the CFS and those with other illness dumped under the umbrella and that's why charities like <a href="https://www.investinme.org/index.shtml"><b>Invest In ME Research</b></a> and many individuals put our time focus and energy into trying to achieve that....hopefully one day soon? </span><div><span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">But as far as I'm concerned for all the reasons I've spoken about above they could call it Elephants Armpit in the short term if it means we can get continued biomedical research that will lead to that definitive test and eventual cure. </span></span></div><div><span style="font-size: x-large; text-align: justify;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Of course it sucks having to put up with an incorrect name in the meantime but then there's also been many a debate that Myalgic Encephalomylitis is wrong as it's not proven there's brain inflammation and instead the illness stems from the gut ? One thing I'm sure we can all agree on is the frustration at the likes of Wessley, Crawley and Garner given platforms to spout their ignorant and false information without consequences and then crying victim when we dare to defend ourselves? We all have opinions, and there's no doubting there's many things that are wrong including merging M.E/CFS as one, but for now surely it's better that we stick together, the M.E patients and the CFS patients and other until a later date, because together we're stronger in fighting and righting all the other wrongs? </span></span><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Finally on a separate note I got another text today, My GP's surgery has contacted me more times in the past six months about the Covid Vaccine than they NEVER have in the thirty years I've had M.E after getting Flu, and they wander why we're an angry bunch? But I guess that's ANOTHER battle for another day? 😁</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"> Til Next Time, Stay Blessed</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"> Back Before Elvis</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvOWQ1yiUd_ctpLdemg5IvdJ6rWxIvaO0IQ5jJLA9J7uhgqgR5uTKKz0qAJEC2MDJ9iOnJeFoMZcsaafL1lcxEme9UyJkIA7WqSsEF6lNIgQWxJAO9Y3jQ_qUTADdtIaPzHGBuFQnpABQ1/s100/154932063590102600.gif" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="100" data-original-width="74" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvOWQ1yiUd_ctpLdemg5IvdJ6rWxIvaO0IQ5jJLA9J7uhgqgR5uTKKz0qAJEC2MDJ9iOnJeFoMZcsaafL1lcxEme9UyJkIA7WqSsEF6lNIgQWxJAO9Y3jQ_qUTADdtIaPzHGBuFQnpABQ1/s0/154932063590102600.gif" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /> </span><p></p></div>Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-69200433119467572042020-12-27T01:38:00.036-08:002020-12-31T09:00:20.544-08:00It's Not A Round Robin? <p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">As those who follow will know, I always publish an end of year article</span> ? <span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Although I refuse to call it a round Robin, because firstly? It's not, and secondly I've never understood why anyone would want to know that back in March Tarquin gained a distinction in his nose piccolo exam? Or that more recently Annabella was photographed on social media with a pimple and has had to go into trauma counselling to get over it? So now we're clear its not a round Robin, let me kick this off with a Merry Christmas....although let's face it, it's more just Christmas minus the Merry?</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFP_lR_1Gwcl2maKbnDzlD9I1bYZ7DRsPE6ydcPS39TbYWz5UUIQcwA7xi71jIMwSBL08GeROPyH1v0BWK0Hf9ZjSs-ncLGQXRYAHSEC2bpROadryQjqUky6bndx3sqzBfgNlGePBYYhw8/s420/aac2014de1de715a0def69a9c5f8097c.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="418" data-original-width="420" height="398" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFP_lR_1Gwcl2maKbnDzlD9I1bYZ7DRsPE6ydcPS39TbYWz5UUIQcwA7xi71jIMwSBL08GeROPyH1v0BWK0Hf9ZjSs-ncLGQXRYAHSEC2bpROadryQjqUky6bndx3sqzBfgNlGePBYYhw8/w400-h398/aac2014de1de715a0def69a9c5f8097c.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><div style="text-align: justify;">I'm a great believer that out of the most terrible things that happen in life, there are lessons to be learnt ? (Like always purchase an extra pack of toilet rolls when shopping just in case? ) The problem is, from my own personal view of life the past year and a half it has been overwhelmingly full of non stop lessons on loss and betrayal, people and places not being what I thought they were, trust shattered, relationships rocked, relationships lost. If you thought I'd be blaming this Covid/Lockdown situation ? Then you'd be wrong, all this time has done is produce a stillness, a clarity and I've seen true colours ( This is not a cue for a Cyndy Lauper song) .</div></span><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"> I was recently reminded that the people I thought I was going to have to let go of had actually let me go a long time ago, I'd just never accepted it </span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">(Don't even think of singing that Frozen song?) So it is with bitter sweet heart that I say my lesson learnt now and as I go forward is the art of acceptance, knowing when something is done and walking away (I'm tempted to shout Craig David, but then I'd have to ban myself from my own page?)</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnspFJD9jN_BRrQ_vuoJs0wuY8kE2j6g-IARTrCbt_JUDYTwMhqlpgIvmC3LYSsk6kCc4FKXVw7k023AXlMJjFZ_jnLIWxuLcIG_zNiOOXJ7PURGO5AWSBM-SGtGhOT6kJeo87I5rAfa3b/s2048/g1040+%25283%2529.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1839" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnspFJD9jN_BRrQ_vuoJs0wuY8kE2j6g-IARTrCbt_JUDYTwMhqlpgIvmC3LYSsk6kCc4FKXVw7k023AXlMJjFZ_jnLIWxuLcIG_zNiOOXJ7PURGO5AWSBM-SGtGhOT6kJeo87I5rAfa3b/s320/g1040+%25283%2529.png" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Loss comes in many forms and when the people letting you go are still here it can be tough, but you can't afford to take it personally otherwise as I've learnt you just stay forever hurting, and the person/people/places you're hurting about are skipping along through life singing Zipideedoodah totally oblivious to your worry and wounds .People can let us go for loads of reasons, I think the main one being we've served our purpose, sometimes we don't fulfill anothers needs any more and someone else has come along that offers what that person is needing at that point in their life?</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">And as you no doubt love your family and friends? The best thing you can do is accept they've moved on, wish them all the love and luck in the world and move on with your own life. You don't have to physically say this to them, as in my case I've done it all in my head while meditating, It also doesn't mean closing the door completely, somewhere down the line they may miss whatever it was you bought to their life and want to reconnect and whether you do or don't will be your choice. Acceptance of loss has been a really hard lesson that I'm still learning, but I know I deserve to be treated better and so with that in mind I have semi closed the door on a number of relationships recently after years of trying and I know I will have some more semi closed doors to accept and continue with as we go into 2021. The bottom line is any relationship takes two, we're all busy, we're all dealing with life poop of some sort because unfortunately that's the normality of life, but if people are important enough we make an effort to at least pop up every once in awhile to say hallo don't we? While it naturally still hurts right now</span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"> it also feels weirdly liberating after all these years to finally realise......yes, I know, I'm slower than a sloth on Nytol to cotton on.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb996ahqnlp7c4cqtDRh9saqDn1UvexOUmjIAjU5TOLe8L2-MdCHTfV7Uy95xzF2njrzcR3J1EMapxj2sLdnazinJh-o5CEwrbdH3t9Uqp3KnAnqDqfBPZLeaqxKXDWYCoNkg_I7EIwXsV/s820/web_groovy_-kind_of_love_bath_bomb_harajuku_shop_2018+%25282%2529.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="820" data-original-width="813" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb996ahqnlp7c4cqtDRh9saqDn1UvexOUmjIAjU5TOLe8L2-MdCHTfV7Uy95xzF2njrzcR3J1EMapxj2sLdnazinJh-o5CEwrbdH3t9Uqp3KnAnqDqfBPZLeaqxKXDWYCoNkg_I7EIwXsV/s320/web_groovy_-kind_of_love_bath_bomb_harajuku_shop_2018+%25282%2529.jpg" /></a></div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">As for Christmas I had the most amazing multi-coloured bath bomb arrive from a niece, far too nice to drown in the bath, ( bath-bomb NOT niece) so it is sat regally on top of a glass chakra candle making the whole upstairs of our house smell as you'd imagine heaven to smell ? Even the young post lady who was doing her best to social distance as she put the box on the doorstep, seemed reluctant to let go of it as I stepped forward to pick it up "I don't know what's in that box, but it smells absolutely divine, it smells like heaven?" she said looking at me as though It was something that I'd ordered and was about to tell her, instead I smiled and shrugged and she walked away disappointed for being none the wiser. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">I also had a hand made card from another niece, which lit up my heart. I was shocked when she told me, I would've never known it looked so professional. But it's not just the fact I received these things and others, they mean far much more. They mean that someone's thought of you and thought it important enough to take time and trouble to do something about it , choose something, make something, and write your name on it and go to the post office and send it to you. You see, just because you become an adult it doesn't mean you stop having insecurities or stop needing to know every once in a blue moon that you still matter to someone, and that people you love and care about still love and care about you too. My late grandmother summed it up, she always used to say that she still felt like a 21 yr old girl inside but that when she looked in the mirror her face & body had changed and were old and wrinkly and the 21 year old couldn't work out what had happened. I never understood it then, but with time and age I've come to understand it completely. </span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAACwTBnbWbYyouUiTqfOJVU2tW3jbuyTqAKa6AkSr8zXjWFIIatvlDG5zng5nF5Hu3l3VlerCiRa5_I5ldkocrI-4M9kp8POmvdRwLF2aJgIe6wfeAXJLx2c97dRUQBliYmThBwpqiHwh/s2048/CIMG7272.JPG" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAACwTBnbWbYyouUiTqfOJVU2tW3jbuyTqAKa6AkSr8zXjWFIIatvlDG5zng5nF5Hu3l3VlerCiRa5_I5ldkocrI-4M9kp8POmvdRwLF2aJgIe6wfeAXJLx2c97dRUQBliYmThBwpqiHwh/w300-h400/CIMG7272.JPG" width="300" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">I'm still that cheeky, freaky, mischievous imp making people laugh, usually when they shouldn't or don't want to, including myself, still never shut up, still curious, still love and care about people probably way too much, still fighting injustice and taking on the world, still flawed, damaged and crazy, still jump around the room in my undies (energy permitting) when a banging tune comes on...If I make it into my 80's/90'S I know that I'll still be all those things and more, even when the outer package changes. It was actually while writing this piece that I realized that while I'm fiercely independent I still have a need to occasionally know that I'm cared about, it's like an anchor I didn't know I needed until the loss of my brother and sister, another acceptance you could say? </span><p></p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Many people are discovering things about themselves and Life since Covid/Lockdown began. resetting, changing, So I've shared with you that mine is acceptance, I'd be interested to know if this year has seen a change or reset for you and what it is? Something that won't change of course is that I will <span style="text-align: left;">still very much continue to be part of and support </span><span style="text-align: left;"> </span><a href="https://ldifme.org/" style="text-align: left;">Lets Do It For ME!</a><span style="text-align: left;"> in</span><span style="text-align: left;"> raising awareness & funds for</span><span style="text-align: left;"> Charity </span><a href="https://www.investinme.org/index.shtml" style="text-align: left;">Invest In ME Research</a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEnzbLwYKBuODnbKWqJcZ0t5hJkEzfkDDABai8u68LS4-Gs2HxompreVl1gxBnK9TicaGtg4k-ZdOhJPJs8drJOCZvtT7mPDdN9_nLGmLRVN2nRTlLA9UAVQEiVZsauSxw3Q_9Nz5zZ5oz/s860/133816736_5129548607087795_1090077884468050093_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="860" data-original-width="630" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEnzbLwYKBuODnbKWqJcZ0t5hJkEzfkDDABai8u68LS4-Gs2HxompreVl1gxBnK9TicaGtg4k-ZdOhJPJs8drJOCZvtT7mPDdN9_nLGmLRVN2nRTlLA9UAVQEiVZsauSxw3Q_9Nz5zZ5oz/w293-h400/133816736_5129548607087795_1090077884468050093_n.jpg" width="293" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;">Before I go I'd like to really thank those of you that have supported my rants, rambles and randomness and been part of my life, <span style="text-align: left;">However I have decided to step back from writing and posting on social media for now to question my own path whether writing is where I belong or where
I want to be considering the changes I've seen over the past few years? The bile of white superiority, pompous arses disguised as innocent opinion is
something I've seen coming through in wolf pack mode since the start of Brexit disagreements and has only gathered momentum with the Covid crisis.</span></div></span><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">As a writer you have to adopt rhino skin, having been raised on one of the toughest council estates in my area you could say I was readily trained? I wouldn't say I've seen and heard it all, but enough not to fall into a
blubbing heap because someone calls me some cursory word, I had a Column in my local paper for 9yrs, people have different views, I've always welcomed that and healthy passionate jousting, it's all part and parcel of writing and you can't take
it too seriously, but what I do take
seriously is this undertone of supreme white arrogance that I've seen becoming more acceptable and more normalized, the arrogant puffed up chest of those with ego, eager to shove their self righteous authority down the throat </span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">of others who dare to think differently and with often an insulting, patronizing, condescending disrespectful delivery, that's not "just" an opinion.....in my opinion? </span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">The White superiority attitude isn't new of course, I first encountered it a number of times in acting circles as a child of which it was rife, it's not just saved for those of different skin tone as is often portrayed, and I have to say In all my years on the planet, of which are many, I have never encountered this type of toxic attitude with any humans of other wonderful skin tone ? Thankfully there was usually one brave renegade teacher willing to stand up and speak out before heading to the exit for the last time, where a few of us renegade pupils would stand united and gladly follow. In my latter teens I too learnt to stand up, speak out and walk when required. It isn't just reserved for lovey circles of course, you find it in and outside of the whole entertainment industry in every walk of life. It saddens me greatly, but under this government, a prime example of the subject in question, I believe it will only become worse and that's not what I want as part of my day or life. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"> </span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"> I wish you all
Love, peace, good health, or at least better health and</span></p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"> of
course happiness in abundance. Happy New Year.</span><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"> Stay blessed, back before Elvis x </span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-large;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcaRozUM_5gWtbfAt_mkPoXbPTOpXcRwQYI7dksGc7NAZjO8FqFFZAShTJ-iK7ukklK31F1Y_W5HcBrtCxAdgAdVp15DvdHpJms4iNXFH9Q-P0fFAy5_GiAlxSIkfuzD264yxScT6h9w3k/s100/154932063590102600.gif" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="100" data-original-width="74" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcaRozUM_5gWtbfAt_mkPoXbPTOpXcRwQYI7dksGc7NAZjO8FqFFZAShTJ-iK7ukklK31F1Y_W5HcBrtCxAdgAdVp15DvdHpJms4iNXFH9Q-P0fFAy5_GiAlxSIkfuzD264yxScT6h9w3k/s0/154932063590102600.gif" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><p></p><p><br /><br /><br /> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><br /><p></p>Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-84393663903806663862020-12-07T01:38:00.001-08:002020-12-07T02:12:19.229-08:00All I Want For Christmas Is An Arm ...? <p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b>It's often hard to understand, feel, see or even believe things unless they're happening to you? I know up until my own illness with M.E, from the moment I got up in the morning everything from grooming to breakfast to getting to work was all done on automatic, without thought, taken for granted, And then M.E struck and with the primary symptom being exhaustion there were days where I barely had enough energy to shuffle to the edge of the bed and that was it, all energy and breath were spent, it was and still is an extremely tough lesson to learn and brings truth to the saying "You never know what you have until it's gone" Energy and breath are a pretty big deal when you're trying to live? </b></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b>But what if there was something you never had in the first place?......</b></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUT-72iAJCBYY4JljVb-0bulXr7HMClrt74OfKqM2MshGFLaYtl_umpF5HkaniBsxY3ipYGrbtUMstzZZzONERr_Ucx9UdacFqiCqdIkzwo8bHp1BsssuhWs3DMG2oCcG7mjMTnEN662l1/s2000/Deus+Ex+-+Hero+Arm+Covers.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1125" data-original-width="2000" height="276" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUT-72iAJCBYY4JljVb-0bulXr7HMClrt74OfKqM2MshGFLaYtl_umpF5HkaniBsxY3ipYGrbtUMstzZZzONERr_Ucx9UdacFqiCqdIkzwo8bHp1BsssuhWs3DMG2oCcG7mjMTnEN662l1/w509-h276/Deus+Ex+-+Hero+Arm+Covers.jpeg" width="509" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">It was while perusing Twitter that I stumbled upon two individuals, <a href="https://twitter.com/CattranTanya" target="">Tanya Cattran</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/bgrbandit" target="">Fraser Mcewan</a> both with the same dream & goal of raising £10.000 to allow them a <a href="https://twitter.com/openbionics"> Hero-Arm</a> . For those of you like me old enough to remember 70's Tv shows Six Million Dollar Man and Bionic Woman? It looks as exciting as it sounds. </span></b></span><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b style="text-align: left;"></b></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglv_6A7aA0eCc5rwf-h2v9AuOY18cfPUPXT3-hNPqzCWGywr9iTaOYpeErFzHsXdtvEOj5mH1VLRapfbm9IX2ibhPdbapGed9AECXxYCt_koQGilqJlgQ0r-ehX4uw9j1G5S1pGRbFPZQP/s2048/20201126_193505.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglv_6A7aA0eCc5rwf-h2v9AuOY18cfPUPXT3-hNPqzCWGywr9iTaOYpeErFzHsXdtvEOj5mH1VLRapfbm9IX2ibhPdbapGed9AECXxYCt_koQGilqJlgQ0r-ehX4uw9j1G5S1pGRbFPZQP/s320/20201126_193505.jpg" /></a></b></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">T</span><b>anya from Devon and a mother of two children was born without a lower right arm that stops just below the elbow, she is struggling to get funding and has only been able to raise 10% £1.077 to date and says that although she's had several Prosthetics since she was little, they are more like medieval torture contraptions that hinder her rather than help. "It's just a heavy lump of plastic with a hand on the end that's stuck in one position and can't actually do anything, it's just for cosmetic purposes but it doesn't look real and it's poorly fitted and I have to take it off to actually complete any task" Listening to Tanya</b></span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b> I was interested to find out what difference a Hero-Arm would make to her life, and I felt and heard loud and clear her longing to have what myself and I'm sure many of you take for granted....an arm?</b></span></div></span><p></p><p></p><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b>"The hand on the Hero-Arm moves all it's fingers so you could literally pick something up as small as a berry without bursting it, I would be able to hold a knife and fork at the same time, to butter some bread, I'd be able to make a sandwich without having to shove my stump into it to hold it down while trying to butter it, I'd be able to get dishes in and out of the oven and carry two plates to the table at once, but most importantly i'd be able to hold both of my children's hands at the same time. </b></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuhipqMeFHgZIcY34FdcRfFBGw4g-dQukpTFUPmNee0XdaucP6yUD2iM12PY1JVtUTVnB6Lgw2rvuPdzQA3vN_UyHP220sTjwhe6QH4t2EfnKorsbJXS5lk9H0RG9c1yX4zdCSEIcliejJ/s1215/IMG-20201126-WA0008+%25282%2529.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="666" data-original-width="1215" height="350" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuhipqMeFHgZIcY34FdcRfFBGw4g-dQukpTFUPmNee0XdaucP6yUD2iM12PY1JVtUTVnB6Lgw2rvuPdzQA3vN_UyHP220sTjwhe6QH4t2EfnKorsbJXS5lk9H0RG9c1yX4zdCSEIcliejJ/w640-h350/IMG-20201126-WA0008+%25282%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b>At the moment they argue over who's going to hold my hand and it breaks my heart that when we cross the road I can only hold one of theirs. I'd love to be able to plait my daughters hair, style my own, put tights on unaided, do up zips and shoelaces, ride a bike, oh the life changing possibilities are endless, sometimes I get scared to dream incase it never happens, but we have to believe don't we? We have to hold on to hope? "</b></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b><br /></b></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ0WX5qZtKcJEAj9OPuUSG_B_qe9Ja6eustQ3_U05ueEitTBg64KFvxzRnqmAJVHSaH2skAQZ_lEYl4wDKPiMcVBJciIXTkzHOiz0ls6XSiXLgJURJPGOqncubczG_ItfvrZFbCU1-EVll/s1447/CIMG2817+%25282%2529.JPG" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1447" data-original-width="1290" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ0WX5qZtKcJEAj9OPuUSG_B_qe9Ja6eustQ3_U05ueEitTBg64KFvxzRnqmAJVHSaH2skAQZ_lEYl4wDKPiMcVBJciIXTkzHOiz0ls6XSiXLgJURJPGOqncubczG_ItfvrZFbCU1-EVll/s320/CIMG2817+%25282%2529.JPG" /></a></div></span></div><div style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Hope is something Fraser Mcewan from North Lanarkshire shares because he too was born with a right arm only to the elbow and he echoes Tanyas frustrations at the prosthetic he has "It's a heavy ugly plastic thing that doesn't look real, it looks like it's fallen off a shop window mannequin and as far as help and practicality go it does absolutely nothing, it's easier not to wear it to be honest. The Hero-Arm is super lightweight and will make daily tasks so much easier, simple things to most, like opening and closing doors? And as a young grandad I want to be able to hold my grandson in a way that I couldn't with my own children. It would mean the world to be able to do that"</b></span></div><div style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b>Although life has been tough for Fraser who used to be a postman until he was medically retired in 2011, he has tried to not let his disability hold him back and to still think of others, in 2008 he walked the West Highland Way for YorkHill Hospitals cleft lip and palate unit and in 2010 he made it to the top of Kilimanjaro to raise money for St Andrews Hospice, he also walked the Great Glen Way for Cancer Research, but unfortunately he hasn't been as successful in getting the funds he needs for his own life changing dream. Fraser and his prosthetic consultant had been hopeful the Hero-Arm would be funded by NHS Scotland but all hope was dashed when it was knocked back due to the high cost, leaving him back to square one of trying to raise the amount himself. </b></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFnpyLoigvGh2mrAOegk3hyNylwVeGlzCCaH0Uc484GZei_8ZIrpWfo9Gm7Mt6o3PB8RSxk72tRbq89k-5oswLZ4OJx_Cu0hIOOkABKug5Uv4h9TcV1wVDk989yHpRV3B-qilWkGEATQ6s/s923/0_JS201442707.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="923" data-original-width="615" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFnpyLoigvGh2mrAOegk3hyNylwVeGlzCCaH0Uc484GZei_8ZIrpWfo9Gm7Mt6o3PB8RSxk72tRbq89k-5oswLZ4OJx_Cu0hIOOkABKug5Uv4h9TcV1wVDk989yHpRV3B-qilWkGEATQ6s/w426-h640/0_JS201442707.jpg" width="426" /></a></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b>As of 2020 the <a href="https://openbionics.com/" target="_blank">Open Bionics</a> site states <span style="color: #666666;">"</span></b></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b>The Hero Arm is only available privately at the moment. We’ve been working closely with the NHS, as we’re really keen to enable our customers to get Hero arms for free through the NHS and we’re preparing for a second trial of the Hero arm. The NHS has a lot to consider when looking at new devices and decisions can take a long time but they are being very supportive towards our work. Please do mention to your NHS prosthetist that you are interested, however if you would like one immediately we would have to refer you to one of our private partner clinics"</b></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b><br /></b></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b>As I was writing this piece and reading it back I slipped my hand into a bag of Chocolate Lime boiled sweets at the side of me and began to unwrap one and I suddenly realised how awkward it would be with only one arm ? I started to work out ways I'd have to do it, hold one end in my mouth maybe? And then with each task I carried out over the day the magnitude of trying to do anything with ease dawned on me: Making a coffee? Changing the water filter in the jug? Eating Beans On Toast with a knife and Fork and grating cheese over it ? Although I didn't have to face the reality for real I certainly felt the frustration for those few minutes. Tanya and Fraser like many, have to face that frustration every single day with everything they do, coping isn't the same as accepting, and they shouldn't have to when there's a solution out there that will change their lives. While £10.000 is alot of money I'm sure you'll agree it's still doable? I've already made a little donation to both and I hope you will join me in helping them to achieve their dream and change their lives, even £1 is £1 closer and you could make that difference. If you could share their story that will also be a big help ? </b></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b>While we're all bombarded with Christmas TV Ads tempting us with Playstations and designer perfumes it seems to pale into insignificance when all someone wants is and arm? If you'd like to help them achieve their dream,? Please head over to their pages: </b></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span><b><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/tanya-cattran?utm_term=yq9krnqmV">Tanya- Just Giving Page</a></span></b></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"> </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><b><a href="https://justgiving.com/crowdfunding/fraser-mcewan">Fraser- Just Giving Page</a></b></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b><br /></b></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b> Til Next Time, Stay Blessed</b></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"> <b> Back Before Elvis</b></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: arial;"><b><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-size: large; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgStglU5qB3RaPJXeWPRmK_7rqkPztNF-S9poek-xMzThxZpJng23T7ImfMwdSAFFGYhtfqRrLztVcOTnAIk1f_GFZtymL9Ot637xtkL283PH9gQlEm2JkNBs18s2E6b0lNOaTjrch9Lgv1/s100/154932063590102600.gif" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="100" data-original-width="74" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgStglU5qB3RaPJXeWPRmK_7rqkPztNF-S9poek-xMzThxZpJng23T7ImfMwdSAFFGYhtfqRrLztVcOTnAIk1f_GFZtymL9Ot637xtkL283PH9gQlEm2JkNBs18s2E6b0lNOaTjrch9Lgv1/s0/154932063590102600.gif" /></a></div><span><div style="font-size: small; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: arial;"><b><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></b></span></div>Frasers 2nd photo by:Stuart Vance/Wishaw Press</span></b></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b> </b></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b><br /></b></span></div><p></p>Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-27032731229829570822020-07-31T00:28:00.000-07:002020-08-26T08:58:10.846-07:00A REALLY Good Morning ?<span style="font-size: large;">We couldn't get a parking space near the shops, so had to park at the top of the road and walk down, "Oh well, at least it's a nice day" my mother said, detecting my annoyance. The thing is, when you have M.E even a few steps can seem like the Green Mile.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Anyhow, as we began the walk down the residential street an elderly gentleman was making his way towards us on a zimmer frame with his just purchased newspaper tucked under his armpit, we moved into a single file to let him pass but said "Good Morning" he looked up from the pavement and looked me directly in the eyes, paused then smiled and nodded "Good Morning" </span><span style="font-size: large;">The following week the same thing happened:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Good Morning, Nice day for a stroll?" I beamed</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"It is" he replied, before adding " Can I ask you something? why did you stop to say Good Morning to me the other week? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">"Er... I guess because we're old School and it's just about being friendly and courteous" I replied, a little perplexed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Again he nodded his head, and then went on to explain that he was in his nineties but that he'd felt invisible. He pointed to where he lived, just where mum had parked the car, and said that he went out every day to get the newspaper, sometimes he didn't even read it because it was full of rubbish but he just liked the walk and seeing other people, but nobody seemed to see him, sure they took his money, maybe said thanks occasionally but it was usually with their head down, nobody saw HIM. Is this what his life had come too? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The previous week before he'd gone to purchase his paper for what he thought would be the last time, he'd decided to take his own life sometime later that day, nobody would care anyway because he was Invisible, they wouldn't even notice he'd gone.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">"Did you see my surprise when you said Good Morning to me?" he asked. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Yes, I did" I replied </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">" Well that's because as I was coming back from the shops, thinking I was invisible and that nobody cared and this would be my last day on earth, my thoughts were interrupted by you saying Good Morning, and when I looked up and saw you looking right at me with that beaming smile I realised I wasn't Invisible after all, you could see me, you could really see me, that's why I looked you in the eyes, I knew that when you said Good Morning you meant it, it wasn't just a comment without thought, you were saying Good Morning to me because you really were wishing me a Good Morning because you cared, even though I was a stranger?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">"Of course" I nodded</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">" I felt it was a sign, he continued, So I went home, made a cup of tea, sat in the chair and read the paper. Something had shifted, Just knowing I wasn't invisible after all made me think I'd stick around" </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">"We're very glad to hear it " said Mum and I in unison rather shocked. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Over the next few months we saw him regularly, and always made sure to say "Good Morning" and stop for a chat, and then one week we didn't see him, nor the following week, so we knocked on his door but there was no answer. We went to the shop where he purchased his newspaper every day and asked the assistant and that's when she told us, his son had been in to say he'd had a fall, been taken to hospital but had sadly passed away. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We were gutted, but drew comfort from the fact that he'd died knowing he wasn't invisible. I'd like to say this is a one off story but unfortunately it isn't. There's been a number of times we've discovered that a "Hallo" or a "Good Morning" has saved a life, and so I hope if you don't already do it, it's something I can encourage you to think about doing? And not just to an elderly person, to anyone that passes you by, and yes, even that group of teens lurking somewhere inside their oversized hoodies.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">There are an estimated 2.2 million people over the age of 75 living on their own and it's thought by 2025 there will be 2 million over the age of 50 living by themselves, everyone has their struggles, young and old and we often don't know what's going on in someone's life, just because they have family or may look okay on the outside, it doesn't mean they're okay on the inside? And just having someone acknowledging they exist can make all the difference?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Of course there's the flip side where someone ignores you, or just glares at you, but we've found that in most cases it's met with a smile and an echo of "Hallo" or "Good morning". It seems most people are so busy rushing around these days, switched off, headphones on, talking or texting on their phone it's so easy for others to become invisible, and yet a short greeting can make the difference between life and death to someone, so, please take time on your travels to notice those around you, you never know just how good you really could make someones day? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Til next time, Stay Blessed</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Back Before Elvis</span><br />
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<br />Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-18605060503443844192020-05-06T07:30:00.164-07:002020-08-20T02:57:31.961-07:00Please Don't Do A Michael!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><b>Wednesday 6th May 2015 started out a day like any other. As someone in ill health, I was sitting at my desk in my bedroom working on the laptop, think of todays Isolation/Lockdown only 24 years worth courtesy of M.E ? My mother had just entered the bedroom when my phone rang, it was my sister Michele, I did my usual cheery " Hi Smell, you okay?" but she sounded awkward, she asked if mum was with me, at which point Mum came over and sat at the end of my bed thinking I was about to hand the phone over. Then my sister said " Stacy, I have some bad news" I immediately thought it was my Dad, I mean we tend to think life goes in order don't we, even if that's totally false? which of course it is. </b></div></b><div><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></b></div><div><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">As I felt that </b><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">sickening fight or flight adrenaline start to course through my body and braced myself for </b><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">what she was about to say next, absolutely nothing could've prepared me. </b><br />
<span face="" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><div><span face="" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>" I'm sorry, it's really really bad news"</b></span><br />
<span face="" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>"Go on?"</b></span><br />
<span face="" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>"Michael has passed away"<br />"How?"</b></span><br />
<span face="" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>In the split second it took her to answer, I figured as a smoker with a dodgy lung my brother had probably keeled over in the garden while ironically having a fag?</b></span><br />
<span face="" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>"Er.....he took his own life"</b></span><br />
<span face="" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>At that moment it felt as though time and life stood still. No not Michael, not my cool, clever, stubborn, grumpy, incredibly funny handsome brother? Besides, he had a wife that he adored and two teenage sons, he wouldn't do that to them?</b></span><br />
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<span face="" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><b>In his younger years he'd started voluntary work with the Samaritans, an organisation I didn't and still don't agree with for it's training methods and it's often cold, robotic,emotionless manner, we had many debates about it, but I respected his decision and was proud of him for giving up his time anyway , 18 years worth of time. He would talk about people taking their own life as being "Selfish" having an "I'm alright Jack" mentality, leaving a whole heap of pain behind for everyone else to suck up for the rest of their life, yeah nice one? So it made no sense that on that Wednesday morning 6th May 2015 Michael, in a bout of depression did what he'd stopped many others from doing over the years and left himself for one of his sons to find when they came home from college ... yeah, nice one indeed.</b></div></b></span>
<span face="" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><b>I'm not angry with my brother, i'm incredibly and utterly broken that Depression hijacked him one day without warning ,stuck a sack over his head and dragged him off to overwhelm him and finish him off. It all feels so sickeningly ironic that since i was a small child those with various mental health problems have seemed to have crossed my path, it used to drive me nuts ( no pun intended) I really didn't want it but I couldn't walk away either and would always stay and do my best to help, it became even more frequent as i got older to the point i started developing simple techniques so that i could actually be of some positive help and support, the thing is I was so busy "saving" everyone else I missed my own brother. It's something I still struggle with terribly and will never be able to forgive myself for. I wish i'd known that he was in a bout of depression and we could've sat drinking Coffee and had one of our Life & Universe chats, that usually ended up with him saying "42" a reference to The Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy and the meaning of life, which would be followed by us laughing. </b></div></b></span>
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<span face="" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><b>Laughing is not something I do very often these days because my brother was right about one thing, the pain suicide leaves for those left behind is sizeless and endless , even five years on there are days it's so all consuming I feel like i could physically throw up and never stop. Another irony just a few months later was that I was receiving a similar call but from my dad, through sobs, he told me it was my sister Michele, she'd been diagnosed with a rare terminal cancer, she passed away ten short weeks later.</b></div></b></span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGZzLVx23auJ0EXoR5g5MCqq3U5ckr_530R80eH9MzodGS68CjJp3zMAh8I6I2HCBxeckxL3WUgLIER0drdxdXog6YzYOh8dsssMsX1MedcqlJlsSqRCfRVcagc3kU2pkO_cXMnj9_CQAk/s1600/Michael+%2526+Michele.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="808" data-original-width="1600" height="201" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGZzLVx23auJ0EXoR5g5MCqq3U5ckr_530R80eH9MzodGS68CjJp3zMAh8I6I2HCBxeckxL3WUgLIER0drdxdXog6YzYOh8dsssMsX1MedcqlJlsSqRCfRVcagc3kU2pkO_cXMnj9_CQAk/s400/Michael+%2526+Michele.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span face="" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>I wanted to ring my brother, whenever there was a crisis, he'd always say " We'll have to be the strong one's stace" Meaning that him and me would stay tough and make sure everyone else was okay and support them through whatever the crisis was, but of course I couldn't. So that was it, in those five short months I'd lost My brother and my sister, some would say one had a choice and the other one didn't? But the problem with depression is that once it takes a hold it also starts to take control and that's why early intervention is paramount . Unfortunately our mental health service has been inadequate and in many cases a disgrace for years so it really doesn't bode well with the massive increase we're seeing due to Covid. But as humans, as individuals, we can all play our part in reaching out ,in listening and just being there for those that need, I do believe this is the way going forward, people helping people.</b></span></div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span face="" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: 700;"><br /></span></div>
<span face="" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span face=""><b>The reason for this post today? August 20th is Michaels birthday, It's n</b></span><b>ot only to mark that this year will be five years since losing Michae</b><span face=""><b>I, but I know there will be those of you reading this that are dealing with your own loss of family members and friends that have died via suicide, and it's important, not only to keep our loved ones memory alive of course but also to keep sharing our stories in the hope </b></span><b>it stops someone else from making the wrong </b><span face=""><b>decision, it also let's each and everyone of us know we are not alone in this grief, so I </b></span><b> urge any of you feeling lost? depressed? or helpless? to not give up, please don't ever give in to suicide. The pain you will cause your family and friends will last for the rest of their lives, they won't just forget you or get on with their lives, they won't be better off without you, that's the depression talking, trying to trick you into handing over control, remember that and just talk to someone, and if you don't feel there is anyone, come talk to me but please please don't ever do what Michael did that day because you will destroy the people that love you the most. Everything in life is temporary including life, death is never the answer to a problem. Whoever you are and wherever you are there is always someone that cares enough about you and wants you to carry on living and see out the rest of your journey, me for one. X </b></div></span></div><div>
<span face="" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b> </b></span><br />
<span face="" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><a href="https://hectorshouse.org.uk/">https://hectorshouse.org.uk/</a></b></span><br />
<span face="" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><a href="https://www.thecalmzone.net/">https://www.thecalmzone.net/</a></b></span></div><div><b><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://www.ekenny.co.uk/">https://www.ekenny.co.uk/</a></span></b><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span face="" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/andysmanclub/"><b>https://www.facebook.com/andysmanclub/</b></a></span><br />
<span face="" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.mind.org.uk/"><b>https://www.mind.org.uk/</b></a></span><br />
<a href="https://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/"><b>https://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/</b></a><b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> </b></div></div>Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-68813808878807525682020-02-03T00:29:00.002-08:002020-02-03T00:29:50.891-08:00All Change<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Hey, If you're one of these weird people that finds watching paint dry exciting then you'll probably enjoy my update? I thought i'd hit you all with a little update of what's going on right now seeing as it's been awhile. I've decided to close my <a href="https://www.officialrunninonempty.com/"><span style="color: yellow;"><b>Runnin On Empty</b></span></a> website in the next few months and create a couple of separate ones. The reason for my madness? I originally thought it was a good idea to have all my heads under one umbrella, it was good, for me, but in hindsight it's not always the right thing to do as it can confuse people, put them off, be too much in one place to check out?</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDEAmRYQ1LIn7P0d9GojpDddrGuHFfrT7_yeZeSFKPcaHBQFrSdFXBx_62gnp5deA4f0D0OfS6Vki23JTb0PsGN6w-Xw-x_Io0XULTu-MXkyCflTC9M94LJoSSa-nV6NljTZt6F_UoSEh3/s1600/31qbiQijGTL._SX466_+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="283" data-original-width="281" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDEAmRYQ1LIn7P0d9GojpDddrGuHFfrT7_yeZeSFKPcaHBQFrSdFXBx_62gnp5deA4f0D0OfS6Vki23JTb0PsGN6w-Xw-x_Io0XULTu-MXkyCflTC9M94LJoSSa-nV6NljTZt6F_UoSEh3/s1600/31qbiQijGTL._SX466_+%25282%2529.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">One of the obvious heads that can be problematic is my music head Mama Chill, Rap/HipHop has never had a great image in the eyes of the British white middle class, and while I continue in trying to educate people and change their perception, when asked many still think it's about crotch grabbing, killing and drugs. and while I have been tempted to keep my mother under the floorboards for longer periods than she is presently kept I can assure everyone I have never considered bumping her off, As for drugs? Green and Blacks 70% chocolate thank-you very much, and the only crotch grabbing likely to take place is because I need a wee courtesy of a Jurassic bladder. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So a basic Mama Chill website is one of the sites I'm creating right now with the aim of eventually making some new music, its been a long time for sure. The other head to go solo is my Professional Dream Translator head under the name of White Feather Dreams.While I'm passionate about Dreams and what I do in educating people of the importance, again, it's one of those things that unless people have experienced it for themselves it can be hard to get your head around. It can be seen on a similar par to an end of the Pier Mystic Meg, which is actually a million miles away from what I do. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSynEKJWo4Hhk-e3GwKLOdhwF52_uOA0KsgsduxkI1Z2vUye_C5Qs_0CHY6DNgR_7L7G9sPublZCvDFhE9m2OJAWVTSthNG3yqmwAGJ0LfrQWBlCsOjrf3k0M1Cf10rZN7kFv95mSkmoNv/s1600/154213472411096832.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="151" data-original-width="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSynEKJWo4Hhk-e3GwKLOdhwF52_uOA0KsgsduxkI1Z2vUye_C5Qs_0CHY6DNgR_7L7G9sPublZCvDFhE9m2OJAWVTSthNG3yqmwAGJ0LfrQWBlCsOjrf3k0M1Cf10rZN7kFv95mSkmoNv/s1600/154213472411096832.png" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The last site to be recreated right here will be a new basic Runnin On Empty one which will concentrate on my general writing, all previous work will still be here, hopefully it will just be the look and layout that slightly changes? </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLrr_nB0uI5sKPNiFLnAQ62SxzUsSUAhFvoxWLvERfK23Dbqbto4YSal78uIrpofUYaq1dV8tdRZSbj4M_ugpeiWj2oqKiVLfNMKd1DOHTVvqw9JukLCtWCrPgYevo1sAoOWedOlGPL8bD/s1600/maxresdefault.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLrr_nB0uI5sKPNiFLnAQ62SxzUsSUAhFvoxWLvERfK23Dbqbto4YSal78uIrpofUYaq1dV8tdRZSbj4M_ugpeiWj2oqKiVLfNMKd1DOHTVvqw9JukLCtWCrPgYevo1sAoOWedOlGPL8bD/s320/maxresdefault.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I've always written at Blogger for ease of use and I was hoping to either incorporate it in the paid website or use the in-house one but both didn't sit on the site very well in terms of layout and ease of use. So it made sense to just move all my domain names over to my Blogger sites </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Are you still awake? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">As a techno muppet it's been a tad tougher than I thought, not just setting up the domain names here at Blogger but also recreating the sites. It wasn't until I'd finished the White Feather Dreams site that I realised it didn't fit or look good on a mobile phone, why is that important? Because as of 2019 it was estimated that 4.346 billion people used their phones for internet use, business via mobile phone use is big business. So after a little googling, I found that Blogger has some newer mobile friendlier templates, wonderful, only trouble is they still weren't exactly what I wanted, because Blogger is basic, some of the features are unchangeable/unremoveable unless you know code? I don't know code oh oh! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So once again I've had to search, google and chat with uber friendly communities who have guided me in the right direction, and following their direction and coding I've managed to change bits and remove sections I don't want, although it's still mega early days and i'm still learning and playing as I go, but hopefully it will make changing the other sites and especially when I do this one right here, a bit easier? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So although i'm still trying to stay connected on Facebook and Twitter, at the moment I'm daily beavering away trying to get all these sites created , so apologies if I've missed birthday wishes and other events and behaving more anti-social than I usually am? </span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9tKzkJoYBZh-UzDzpDoyQ_RLIx3HXbh_Ppfbh-RxguFubyKZD1Hh9YnDDJB1qs0b4FncZMfgXa6SGJcAZjCgC7Y4LpHRKTXo5NbDoKNEirEpBWPqxWexyIg2yHKPXao-_6PHfl5lqqaIO/s1600/Copy-of-Target-%25C2%25A31000.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="400" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9tKzkJoYBZh-UzDzpDoyQ_RLIx3HXbh_Ppfbh-RxguFubyKZD1Hh9YnDDJB1qs0b4FncZMfgXa6SGJcAZjCgC7Y4LpHRKTXo5NbDoKNEirEpBWPqxWexyIg2yHKPXao-_6PHfl5lqqaIO/s320/Copy-of-Target-%25C2%25A31000.png" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm also organizing a little M.E Competition, it seems ages since I did the last one, they were just to bring a little fun and light into the lives of those dealing on a daily with what is often a painful, lonely and soul destroying chronic illness, they were also to help raise awareness of Charity <b><span style="color: blue;"><a href="http://www.investinme.org/index.shtml"><span style="color: blue;">Invest In ME Research</span></a> </span></b>via <a href="https://ldifme.org/"><b><span style="color: blue;">Lets do it for ME!</span></b></a> . Last week I came across a lovely old email from one of the previous winners which reminded me of how a little light on a dark day can make all the difference in someone's life, so I will hopefully get the Competition up over the next week? And that is where I'm at right now.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">There are many plans and things I'm hoping to get more involved in locally such as <span style="color: orange;"><b> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/205841796572829/?ref=bookmarks"><span style="color: orange;">South West Herts Peoples Health Service</span></a></b></span> & also <a href="https://www.swhertscommunityhub.org.uk/p/home.html?fbclid=IwAR2l3QRJSOygbD3TiNBACkOetdn7a-RYRkp0j6vFNMHZSUHOJVYak0P70qw"><b><span style="color: orange;">South West Community Hub</span></b></a> but one baby step at a time. After a severe deep belly muscle strain around an old Operation scar at the end of December which still hasn't healed and an M.E & Fibromyalgia relapse it's a bit of a struggle to say the least, but as long as I wake up breathing there is still much that can be done and everything to be grateful for. There are days when just breathing is more than enough, so remember you are amazing, and as long as you keep going forward, it's all that matters. Whatever you're up to my friends just Keep On Keepin'On.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> Til next time, Stay Blessed </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> Back Before Elvis x</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYgbc8AkNEsgtBAIcrS-IJbR1XDn9Yn2F1lPz6N73zehPWXKtB_EalcHrLatsHvxxoSCJwCtV-2-uh1mH3cgcxZwXnOh96gq-oaUM3b6P8FN6D1vZPDDlnBGu5RKiioky3slfMNfJf-ho2/s1600/154932063590102600.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="100" data-original-width="74" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYgbc8AkNEsgtBAIcrS-IJbR1XDn9Yn2F1lPz6N73zehPWXKtB_EalcHrLatsHvxxoSCJwCtV-2-uh1mH3cgcxZwXnOh96gq-oaUM3b6P8FN6D1vZPDDlnBGu5RKiioky3slfMNfJf-ho2/s1600/154932063590102600.gif" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-21086028269401184592020-01-09T11:19:00.000-08:002020-01-10T02:31:11.992-08:00TWITTER? FOLLOW? UNFOLLOW? BLOCK?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQjf36TBBK2loMAJioadcyce0TBr2v-CFevHaJwTmoMwRrQwy4TNAT6nqntsSIiZnePzexracZQDwHdkL3PL_Fkx5ohTrLTBAKQ22au7434jr9qcdoGoFWktpG3euq_xde6nhiaqQNqEdZ/s1600/twitter_icon_set+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="252" data-original-width="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQjf36TBBK2loMAJioadcyce0TBr2v-CFevHaJwTmoMwRrQwy4TNAT6nqntsSIiZnePzexracZQDwHdkL3PL_Fkx5ohTrLTBAKQ22au7434jr9qcdoGoFWktpG3euq_xde6nhiaqQNqEdZ/s1600/twitter_icon_set+%25282%2529.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">I choose Twitter as my main social media hang out because with only limited characters allowed there's less chance of a novel length post about someone's daily drama, unless of course they decide to write 10 posts in a row? There's always one ? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The only downside to Twitter is the mindset of some of the users. There's alot of people that Follow, wait until you Follow back, and then Unfollow you again so their numbers look good. There are many that only follow a few hundred while their followers are in their thousands . This is all well and good when it comes to someone Famous or a Celebrity, it's expected, but not with your average Joe, if someone follows you then be polite and follow them back, call it Twitter Etiquette. The only accounts I don't follow are porn, not because I'm a prude but because seeing someones undercarriage in my feed really doesn't float my boat, Food porn however is acceptable, I never tire at the sight of Cheesecake. </span><span style="font-size: large;"> For the past year I've also noticed something else going on, people suddenly Unfollowing everyone, so their Follow statistics drop to zero but the Follower number is thousands, I for one aren't impressed if that's the reaction expected? You can bet your bottom dollar that a few weeks later they'll be Following you again and repeating the game?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">For those of us on Twitter for genuine reasons, looking to connect, engage, support , it can be extremely frustrating, but I've found a way to at least stay in control of these Muppets playing a game. I signed up to<b><span style="color: orange;"> </span></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://unfollowerstats.com/"><b><span style="color: orange;">https://unfollowerstats.com/</span></b></a> and use the free version but there is a paid plan with more flexibility if you choose. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGKjWLfTcZSt2FZ4uQXTTHoIHvwsaZbXC1zRZBF2u5TMUBMXxRTopHBU0TpY3DIq1ITUpqp2N7UauvjlVdwGp10AlmzO0yzvTbJEoWPdNYreL7oRuUQkDgvvc4KlCyEqeR-rahjyiPVNhT/s1600/Unfollow-Button-Twitter+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="192" data-original-width="500" height="152" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGKjWLfTcZSt2FZ4uQXTTHoIHvwsaZbXC1zRZBF2u5TMUBMXxRTopHBU0TpY3DIq1ITUpqp2N7UauvjlVdwGp10AlmzO0yzvTbJEoWPdNYreL7oRuUQkDgvvc4KlCyEqeR-rahjyiPVNhT/s400/Unfollow-Button-Twitter+%25282%2529.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">It means I can go in everyday and be shown who has Unfollowed my page. I then Unfollow that person PLUS I block them, this stops them from being able to follow again a few weeks later and the game repeating, it's depressing how many people are just focused on making themselves look good by Follow numbers. since using the Unfollowers site I'm blocking between 5 and 20 Muppets a day, so it's quite prevalent but social media is what it is. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9Alq1y5DayzAi_whIijoNTHEt6iUa-0FwzbkAFB9g9o3c55S9JF7pZeciXii_qLzELSbqDrMzh8f7O2X34e61TJ-iezKRq8ovN1ijL1OAZCzQEYqA0BIl_XtPlFOjuzA6BF0rgjB4Ksuj/s1600/twitter-funny-pic-death.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="271" data-original-width="500" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9Alq1y5DayzAi_whIijoNTHEt6iUa-0FwzbkAFB9g9o3c55S9JF7pZeciXii_qLzELSbqDrMzh8f7O2X34e61TJ-iezKRq8ovN1ijL1OAZCzQEYqA0BIl_XtPlFOjuzA6BF0rgjB4Ksuj/s320/twitter-funny-pic-death.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm on Twitter like most good people for the reasons I mentioned earlier, to connect, support others, and be supported, so I don't ever Unfollow and Block anyone other than the players. There are often posts from those upset about the lack of Followers but there is no quick fix to gaining more , it takes time and hard work, it also works better if you spend more time supporting and engaging in others posts rather than trying to just push your own. </span><span style="font-size: large;"> I've studied marketing, I've posted out at various times and tried posting interesting articles, it doesn't always work and someone with far less Followers than me can have far more engagement. I'm not going to lose sleep over it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Find posts that you like and Retweet them and leave comments saying why you enjoyed it, or give someone a pat on the back if they deserve it, others will often comment too, or like what you've written and end up following you because they can see you are someone that engages, or they like your sense of humour or style of writing etc. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The main thing is, stop worrying about numbers, just chill and focus on getting to know your fellow Twitters and enjoy it, focus on that and the numbers will increase in time, naturally with people that are more likely to stay Following. Right I'm off to Tweet. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Til Next Time, Stay Blessed</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Back Before Elvis.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> </span>Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-48915492042455474272019-12-25T02:10:00.000-08:002019-12-25T02:10:55.206-08:00Tits-Up 2019<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Oh you're here? Merry Christmas and thank-you for tearing yourself away from the Quality Street . So I pondered long </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">and hard for a respectable title for this years annual offering, but "Tits-Up 2019" was really the most accurate and honest summary, and as those of you who have followed for a decade or two will know I do believe in sharing my rambles with you all honestly, otherwise why bother? So apologies for anyone that's offended ( Ho Ho Ho) Tits-Up 2019 it is then</span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"So this is Christmas, and what have you done? Another year over and a new one just begun"- John Lennon</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Very apt lyrics indeed, and the answer is it feels like a big fat nothing, although it's not been for want of trying. As strange as it may sound it feels as though I literally blinked and another year was at it's end without me accomplishing anything? </span><span style="font-size: large;"> I didn't become the axe-goddess I annually mention, (Guitar variety, not wooden handle, sharp silver head, I'm hormonal get out of my way variety just so we're clear?) Despite a Christmas design (that's now been removed) I only sold one T-shirt from the store this year, so there were no profits to pass on to <a href="http://www.investinme.org/index.shtml"><b><span style="color: orange;">Charity Invest In ME Research</span></b></a> or any other charities that get a cut, So I ended up making a personal donation instead. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I've also been campaigning and fighting the Government system, it's departments and individuals that think it's okay to bully and destroy the sick and disabled and most vulnerable members of society, I've been letter writing ( Yee Pen and Paper old fashion variety) emailing and phoning. </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There's been tears (Lots) ,Vomiting (Once, due to the stress and frustration) and the general weariness and exhaustion of </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> trying to stay on what feels like a David and Goliath mission. Despite my own poor health,as a tough Ol Boot I feel I owe it to those without voice, those who struggle to articulate and those no longer here. As of last week, the powers that be have handed my latest letter of complaint, concerns and requests over to another body to Investigate and review but I'm informed there is no legal response time required, In other words "Please don't be holding your breath?" </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I didn't get back into making music for the 4th year in a row, not that anyone's noticed apart from my niece and nephew Natalie and George, cheers guys, there will be new music coming...sometime. Since losing my brother and sister in 2015 I've felt as lost as a fart in a baked bean factory, and hoping and waiting for guidance from some local Music Guru who would sweep in and come rescue me from the smog. (It hasn't happened just in case you were wondering?) But I have been writing, there' plenty of material and I just have to decide whether to try and find a local studio or do it myself ? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I didn't get that Beyonce body I annually hope for either, again not for want of trying, but I'm just one of those women that only has to sniff a bar of Dairy Milk and BOOM! on goes two stone, I can only conclude from my present weight I've been sniffing an awful lot of chocolate? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We had Politics, and i'm just going to leave that right there?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Despite the odds, that have been like climbing a fireman's pole in a straitjacket, battling copious amounts of pain courtesy of M.E & Osteoporosis, the extreme discomfort of inflamed swollen belly and limbs courtesy of Fibromyalgia and Mental doubt courtesy of me and my inner head chimp I've spent the last two years training to be a Hatha yoga teacher, with the aim of being able to help other less able bodied people, but I've fallen at the last hurdle. You should never ask for honest feedback if you're not prepared to hear it, I thought I was? and my teacher gave me plenty, way too much in one go for my foggy M.E'd marshmallow head to process. I spent the rest of the class chewing the inside of my cheeks to stop the slow trail of tears turning into Niagra falls and flooding the studio and drowning my fellow Yoginis. It was also a short sharp shock of reality, that even after 30 years i'm still trying to escape this damn M.E & Fibromyalgia to be "Normal" however unrealistic that may be. Right now I feel stupid, humiliated and pretty darn awful, but it's of my own doing and I can't think clearly enough to work out what i'm gonna do next once I stop licking my wounds ?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So unfortunately 2019 pretty much ends the way it started, with little achieved. Although I have learnt lessons, such as I still need to work on my tolerance and short fuse. Sat at the back of our little Spiritual church recently I had to stop myself from grabbing a copy of the physic News, rolling it up and beating the Women sat opposite to death because she had boiled sweets and was slurping and crunching her way through the entire service. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I've also still managed to stay as single as I've always been and plan on staying in 2020 , I couldn't think of anything worse than dating by todays standards, I'm all for everyone being who they want to be, He, She, They, Animal, Vegetable, Mineral , but there's still a traditional naive dreamer in me somewhere that would be mortified to think I was on a date with a guy when he turned out to be a stick of Broccoli? </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So there we are, a well and truly "Tits Up 2019". I'm not making any plans for 2020 other than to keep on breathing, always a good start I think? Life doesn't always work out how we plan it but the most important thing is to keep on getting back up and to keep on keepin'on, that way there's always the chance of change, of opportunity and hope, and as I leave you with that thought, let me end by saying thank-you for all the support, the reads, the Likes, Follows, Shares, RT's and comments you make it all worthwhile. Merry Christmas to you and yours, Love, Peace and all good things. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> Til Next Time, Stay Blessed</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> Back Before Elvis </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
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Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-11589621808570356592019-12-20T02:33:00.000-08:002019-12-20T02:33:29.395-08:00When Royal Mail Signed For...Er...Isn't Signed For? <span style="font-size: large;">What if you paid to send something "Signed For" via Royal Mail only to be told it doesn't get signed for?...... Confused ? </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbFiEtX0qGN7GGXiBI5dXHeYp4aN_zWUOJzteVTK6ZIbYjx-F5KPb7i9ngdq5dD1VVULmbw5od8WFGkYueWRTRbsQGGHzs8ANIvjdtISTBpHxbXTpuZUlgwkhVJyS2l7ODZkyA9mpfjPbd/s1600/PA-47004313.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="585" data-original-width="1180" height="158" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbFiEtX0qGN7GGXiBI5dXHeYp4aN_zWUOJzteVTK6ZIbYjx-F5KPb7i9ngdq5dD1VVULmbw5od8WFGkYueWRTRbsQGGHzs8ANIvjdtISTBpHxbXTpuZUlgwkhVJyS2l7ODZkyA9mpfjPbd/s320/PA-47004313.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">When it comes to business or other important matters, like many I use the "Signed For" option as it gives me peace of mind, I trust it will have more chance of getting to the person I'm sending it to, I can also track it online and breathe a sigh of relief when I see the signature, only I found out yesterday, much to my shocked "Hang on that can't be right" facial expression, that when it comes to large organisations such as D.W.P you're "Signed For" document doesn't get ......"Signed For"?</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZLsuYowNL8bzYB6oNGB8tnfbh3pBRXYdv7gn1TK2lIUyMA5W6pPDMOm0sdGvRgZw_qnCq4DZNT_OEfuH52qu0SIQurJZbjeTVoq8bZf6-ZIHsUz01Yc7sTOoMo1qnsA2cXl9_O4WSQRL8/s1600/item+%25282%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="157" data-original-width="167" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZLsuYowNL8bzYB6oNGB8tnfbh3pBRXYdv7gn1TK2lIUyMA5W6pPDMOm0sdGvRgZw_qnCq4DZNT_OEfuH52qu0SIQurJZbjeTVoq8bZf6-ZIHsUz01Yc7sTOoMo1qnsA2cXl9_O4WSQRL8/s1600/item+%25282%2529.png" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This all started because as a Disability/Health Campaigner I started a complaint procedure against the Medical assessment center and D.W.P for their handling and treatment of claimants.</span><span style="font-size: large;"> but
hadn't had a response despite it being four weeks so I checked the tracking
number via the online Royal Mail site but there was no signature or information
other than the name of the Post office I'd first taken it to.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I contacted Royal Mail, they apologized and said that if I
could verify the Medical center hadn't received the letter they would send me
out £4.20 in stamps . I don't know about you but I'd much prefer my letter to just get to where I want it to go? I asked why there was no signature showing on the Royal Mail site? And was told in a sheepish manner that it's something the Royal Mail are looking into doing something about but at the moment with large organisations such as D.W.P customers "Signed For" letters don't get "Signed For". It seems that because the mail is dropped of in a big load someone just signs for the lot, so the tracking number on an individual customers receipt really means diddly squat? Isn't that fraudulent ? Why am I paying for "Signed" when it's clearly and knowingly not being done ? And why haven't Royal Mail made the public aware of this? </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I came off the phone and rang the Medical assessment center where they too apologized</span><span style="font-size: large;"> and confirmed they hadn't received</span><span style="font-size: large;"> the letter, plus they also confirmed they don't get any "Signed For" letters in any of the departments, because it's such a large place and there's such alot of mail, it all arrives at the depot and then someone will just sign the bottom of a spreadsheet for the whole lot? </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">So there you go, it will be interesting to see how the Royal Mail will get themselves out of this one? But if you're sending anything to D.W.P save your money, ditch the "Signed For" and just stick a normal stamp on it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Until Next Time, Stay Blessed</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Back Before Elvis</span></div>
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Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-83190910636065843262019-12-13T02:54:00.001-08:002019-12-14T05:21:20.507-08:00It's Not Okay.<span style="font-size: large;">To say I'm devastated by the Election result would be an understatement, but unless you're Sick/Disabled or negatively impacted I don't expect anyone else to get it, and they clearly don't. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But this wasn't just political, it was personal, If you voted Tory you are no friend or family member of mine, you really aren't, if you genuinely love and care about someone you don't throw them under the bus. You see, if you voted Tory you gave them a thumbs up that it was okay to bump off 120.000 Sick and Disabled like me via Corporate manslaughter and continue doing so, I could've been one of those 120.000 and still can become a statistic at any point. This isn't just about numbers and statistics though, this is real people with families, Mums, Dads, Sons and Daughters, bullied, humiliated, stripped of any dignity & finally killed? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">If you don't believe it do some research, we live this life on a daily so we know first hand what's happening but alot of it is there on Google if anyone bothers to check?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">If you voted Tory you gave a thumbs up that it was okay for them to take away peoples disability aids, Mobility cars, Scooters, and continue doing so leaving already vulnerable people isolated by removing the only thing they had left that gave them a tad of independence? Mobility services have confirmed that as of 1st November 2019, 101.000 Disabled people have had their Cars and Scooters taken away from them. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Many Sick/Disabled that lose </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">their Disability living allowance can't afford to pay carers, which has meant and means that in a parents case their school age children have to take over and try and fill in the gap best they can before school, after school and often taking time off school. Others who have nobody lie in their own soil until they are well enough to change themselves or until they can find somebody, friend, neighbour, to come and help them. There are those that have gone without a shower or bath for weeks because there is nobody to help. There was a time I was predominantly bed-bound and house-bound for two years, with any chronic illness that fluctuates you can be back there in a heartbeat.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> In a Tories Nazi mindset we are a burden on society and one they want rid of and they are succeeding, their mindset has been passed on to the public, hate crimes against Sick/Disabled have risen by 41% with less prosecutions than ever. Your vote said that's okay? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I didn't like Corbyn, plus my grandfather was Jewish so with all the antisemitism surrounding Labour i really had to dig deep, I also swore after Blair I would never vote Labour again, but this wasn't just about me, under the Tories it was a much more bigger sinister picture, at least with a new Government there was hope, that's what we needed. Labour had spoken about changing the way Sick/Disabled were being treated, they would also fight austerity. I never in this life time thought I would see and experience Sick /Disabled being treated so brutally including those with mental health problems, I never thought I would see Food-banks in my home land , I never thought I would see children so hungry that Teachers are putting their own hands in their pockets to buy them food, I never thought I would see elderly men and women sat in their coats in a dark cold room because they can't afford the heating or electricity. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I never thought I would see so many Homeless families & individuals on our streets and on the rise under the Tories. The </span><span style="font-size: large;">United Nations wrote in a report that what is happening in this country is an humanitarian crisis, no surprising the Tories disagreed and are carrying on regardless.</span><span style="font-size: large;"> I feel so ashamed to live in a country where it's Government and it's people say that's okay? Worst still is seeing all the laughter and jokes from so called friends over social media about the result, thank-you for showing just how little you think my life and the life of my fellow Sick/Disabled are worth, For those that think this post is just dramatic, it goes to show how sadly little you know of the extreme suffering that has been happening to so many? This isn't a jokey bicker over the price of a loaf of bread, this is about lives? Right now it feels as though all hope has gone and it's a very sad day & time we're living in indeed? I will be coming off Facebook as from immediate effect for sometime, to reflect, to gather thoughts and concentrate on my health. So I will take this opportunity to wish you all a Merry Christmas topped off with Love and Peace. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Until Next Time, Stay Blessed</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Back Before Elvis</span><br />
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Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-60164635175010581342019-10-01T00:10:00.000-07:002019-10-04T11:25:20.845-07:00Letting Go ?<span style="font-size: large;">I've always struggled to understand human behavior and maybe I always will and it's one of the reasons I prefer to roll solo? Letting go comes in many different forms, none of which are easy. When someone dies we have no say in the matter, and while there are those that give permission for a loved one to slip away to save them from any more pain perhaps? it's nothing more than a symbolic gesture to make us feel we have some control over an horrendous situation, but we don't get to decide, there is no actual choice. The same with illness, it's a letting go of the life we once had, the person we were, it's a confusing, frustrating, humbling mish-mash of emotions that doesn't get any easier with time, as with any form of loss, all we can do is try and learn to cope. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">A loss that's often harder to deal with is people that are still alive but that just don't feel about you as you feel about them? We're all on different stages of our journey and sometimes we've served whatever spiritual purpose we were meant to serve in someone's life and they just need different lessons and different people and it's not always personal even though it can feel like it? On the other hand however we do still need to look at ourselves, I know I'm quite flawed and when people leave throughout life and you're the common denominater then you need to accept you're probably the problem, I'm the problem, but as to what flaw? take ya pick because I haven't got a clue? And it's sad of course and certainly not how I'd planned on life turning out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I remember as an 8yr old reluctantly moving house and sadly spending the last time with my bestie, we were sat on the curb and found a slither of broken glass in the gutter that we cut our thumbs with before squishing them together and declaring "Friends Forever" ( a hyperventilating health and safety moment by todays standards i'm sure? ) It was a time before computers and mobile phones and so I vowed that when we were old enough I'd come find her again and I did thanks to social media........... turns out she didn't remember me...Ouch! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Moving on, years later my early teenage bestie announced one day that she wasn't allowed to hang out with me anymore because I came from a broken home.....Ouch! again, the truth was she'd found a new sidekick to replace me with, someone far more exciting to hang out with, I got it, I understood, I really did, although it didn't mean it hurt any less. I didn't fight to keep our friendship because I realized she'd already let me go, and trying to hold on to something where only one party is invested isn't a relationship, it's just one person making a tit of themselves. By that analogy I seem to have spent a great deal of my life a Tit? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">A boyfriend spent such a large amount of our relationship letting me go before coming back again, that I ended up nicknaming him Boomerang. There was an age gap with him being much older than I and he was also a troubled creative soul, but I was as much to blame of course because love can do funny things to you and while mentally I severed the ties and put my foot down, my heart couldn't quite let go of him completely, hence the door was always slightly ajar for his return, no matter the years that went by in-between. I knew he never really loved me, it was a one sided love, but he couldn't stay away forever, he couldn't explain it other than something always drew him back because he just couldn't forget me, our on mostly off love story spanned nearly 30 yrs until his death, and he couldn't come back anymore.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">When it comes to </span><span style="font-size: large;"> family we often have this mind-set that we have to get on ? but in reality family members don't have to love you or even like you just because you're connected by DNA and no matter how hard you try it's not going to change the fact that they just don't freakin like you or want you in their life. Just as I'm sure we've all been in situations where we've taken an instant dislike to someone, we can't put our finger on it but we just don't like them? Or we liked them once but we just don't like them any more? We have to remember other people can feel the same way about us...and yes, that extends to family members and even the once closest of friends?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I always feel a bit of a sap, because in all honesty it still hurts alot when it happens, and it heightens insecurities as you search for answers, What did I do? What didn't I do?, but rarely do we get the answers or the truth which makes acceptance even harder, and beating ourselves up, worrying, going over the situation in our head serves no purpose and only fuels the insecurity further. So even if it hurts and it usually does, accepting that it's okay for people to let us go if they feel it's right for them and in their best interest, is the only way we can free ourselves to go forward in the end, although it's also okay to leave the door slightly ajar for all the family, friends and people you love in case they want to come back one day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I realised recently that an awful lot of my head space is taken up worrying about others, even though they evidently let me go along time ago. I have to admit that while Buddhist philosophy of not attaching to anything including people because everything is temporary is undoubtedly true and makes sense, it's not always that easy to put into practice, not that i'm a Buddhist , but it is time for me to follow my own philosophy that I mentioned before, you can't have a relationship of any sort when there's only one person in it, so as hard as the lesson has been and continues to be i am determined to learn the art of acceptance of letting go......in plain English ? To stop being a tit. Feel free to keep me company by sharing your own experiences? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Until Next Time, Stay Blessed</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Back Before Elvis.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-19706394058539304932019-09-07T00:18:00.002-07:002019-09-15T05:33:22.480-07:00Yes,We ARE Undefeatable <span style="font-size: large;">I've been a bit miffed by the recent TV and social media campaign <a href="https://weareundefeatable.co.uk/"><span style="color: orange;"><b>#WeAreUndefeatable</b></span></a> but miffed has now turned to anger because once again I smell a very large underhand rat? On it's website and social media platforms it states it's " A campaign supporting people with health conditions to be active through the ups and downs and celebrating every little victory"</span><span style="font-size: large;"> ? </span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I could almost hear the strains of Jerusalem playing in the background as all sick and disabled around the country stand shoulder to shoulder with fist clenched to their heart with pride?......Someone pass the Kleenex I'm about to blub, but that's because sadly, once again I believe the public are being duped that this is being done in our best interest, while the actual Sick and Disabled amongst us know it's just another shafting. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Call me a cynic...no, please do? but I believe this to be just another sneaky attack on societies most vulnerable to save the government </span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">yet </span><span style="font-size: large;">more </span><span style="font-size: large;">money, </span><span style="font-size: large;"> if the corporate manslaughter of approximately </span><span style="font-size: large;">120,000 so far isn't enough? ...Well obviously not? And yes, you heard right, that's 120,000 grandparents, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, the list goes , but real people in need of help that ended up dead thanks to the Tories & D.W.P stance.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">For me, most sick and disabled are already undefeatable, the ones I've been blessed to know and meet over the years are already amazing, brave, determined human beings, they've had to be because they continue to be put in a do or die situation by the Conservatives and the D.W.P.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And I think we can quite safely </span><span style="font-size: large;">assume </span><span style="font-size: large;">this campaign is government </span><span style="font-size: large;">initiated and funded? </span><span style="font-size: large;">At the bottom of the website it lists all it's partners, The national lottery, and a whole heap of Charities </span><span style="font-size: large;">...Awww Dang! you're probably going to call me a cynic again? ...no, please do? But I can't help wondering what bung these charities are getting for being part of this </span><strike style="font-size: x-large;">Shafting</strike><span style="font-size: large;"> Campaign ? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">As many can and will vouch, Under D.W.P criteria, if you have enough energy to even fart then you're deemed fit to work and denied any financial help, and if you're getting help then it's instantly withdrawn which means losing mobility scooters and other vehicles and no longer having funds to pay for carers, the fact that kids often have to skip school to look after a parent and take over the role is just too bad. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">That's why seeing all these people doing activities and being encouraged to get active in this campaign is hypocritical and quite frankly a farce, If any sick or disabled person tries to help them-self in any way by doing some activity they're told they're not sick or disabled enough for financial help and are forced back into work regardless. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Those who phone D.W.P in a desperate state having received a letter to say they are losing all financial help are often just told to go to a food bank or go ask a family member, friend or neighbour. Is this really happening in 2019? Unfortunately yes and it get's much worse, at assessments if assessors can't see the symptoms of your illness, then they don't exist, including mental health. While D.W.P publicly deny this in the media, those who go through the assessment have written reports to say otherwise. For example, unless a patient sweats, trembles and shakes at some point during the assessment then they don't suffer with anxiety and receive no points , the same for all other symptoms, unless they are all presented during the assessment you are given no points for it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">In the height of mental health awareness this seems reckless and as I stated before, criminal, so I challenged D.W.P on this, but seemingly missing the point I was simply told that all the assessors are professionals and they listen to what they say. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Just in recent weeks there's been more cases of terminally ill people, bed-bound and in their last few weeks being denied financial help by a cruel, barbaric D.W.P who have deemed them fit to work despite, GP and Consultant letters, like the late <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49524259"><span style="color: orange;"><b>James Oliver.</b></span></a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Some of you may also remember the case of the late </span><span style="color: orange; font-size: large;"><b> </b></span><a href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/apr/21/stephen-smith-liverpool-seriously-ill-emaciated-man-denied-benefits-dwp-dies" style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: orange;"><b>Stephen Smith</b></span> </a><span style="font-size: large;"> a man with multiple debilitating illness, who lived on his own, lying emaciated in a hospital bed , denied any financial help and forced to leave that hospital bed to attend a tribunal and prove he was sick enough for financial assistance? This isn't just a one off case, this is happening on a daily to sick and disabled all over the country.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Of course exercise is good, it's not rocket science and I'm not knocking that, but we mustn't forget there is illness where exercise is just not possible or can actually make a situation worse, I think many will find this campaign insulting, the main reason being, it's being put out there as one thing when it's actually masquerading as something far more sinister, just ask the families of those who have already died ? Despite <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/un-poverty-austerity-uk-universal-credit-report-philip-alston-a8924576.html"><span style="color: orange;"><b>Philip Alston's UN's report</b></span></a> of a humanitarian crisis in the UK, despite back in 2017 a <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/un-disabled-rights-uk-government-denounced-criticised-united-nations-austerity-policies-a7923006.html"><span style="color: orange;"><b>UN report</b></span></a> denouncing the Tories treatment of Disabled, this arrogant Government are still in public denial. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;"> I hope the public will see through this latest campaign and wake up to what's really happening to the sick and disabled of this country and be as angered and demonstrative as they have been about #Brexit , then we truly will be Undefeatable. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Until Next Time, Stay Blessed</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Back Before Elvis</span><br />
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Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-1505874485671422202019-08-02T01:01:00.000-07:002019-08-02T04:53:11.850-07:00Who Are Ya Now?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">Do you ever look back at photos and laugh or cringe at what you were wearing ? It was just the times and the latest crazes that made us feel untouchable eh? I felt right gangsta in my Crombie and Doc martens when I was finally allowed to get them, </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I </span><span style="font-size: large;"> used to smoke too, all the cool boys smoked Marlborough, they were proper adult ciggies and then us girls discovered the equivalent in Sobranie multi-coloured cocktail cigarettes and there we were, a bunch of council estate kids feeling posh and sophisticated. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">One look I'm not proud of and certainly wouldn't want to revisit is the ginger perm, it was a white persons equivalent to an afro that we really didn't rock. It was meant to be bleached blonde of course but never quite got there, apart from the eyebrows that went so white it looked like you didn't have any.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It wasn't a holiday unless you went to the pavillion to see The Black & White Minstrels, TV programmes included Love Thy Neighbour and it seemed every comedian started a joke with " An Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman and a Pakistani walked into a bar" ?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">As you walked passed a building site, workmen would whistle down from the scaffolding they clung to, and if they didn't you walked passed again just in case they hadn't seen you the first time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Times however have changed greatly, what was once acceptable is no more, but that's what happens when you evolve, not only as a collective but also as an individual, as we grow older most of us change, or Life changes us? our views, our ways, the only difference is back then we didn't have a public recording of our growths and faux pas whereas now there's social media.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I often get spooked when I get a notification to say someone has liked/commented/shared a post from 2006 because it means they've sat there scrolling back to somebody I used to be, it immediatly sparks a mix of intrigue and panic " What did i say in the post?" What was I doing in the photo? Would any of it be acceptable now or could it spark social media outrage? People could find out where I live, drag me out the house by my ankles and crucify me on the nearest lampost for my sins? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I always feel sorry for the young whippersnappers that get their first sniff of appearing on TV only to have it publicly snatched away because some saddo individual has scrolled back to when they were pre-pubescent and said or did something they probably shouldn't and don't even remember? I often wonder if employers do the same thing when weighing up a candidate for a job? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">With all that in mind and the mind-set of better to be safe than sorry I thought it was a good idea to wipe out any potential dramas and just keep the social media postings to approx 3 months.....then my heart and belly sank, oh hang on...I think that's due to the fact that while writing this I ate the last chocolate revel without realising and when i did realise, they came out in solidarity at my disappointment? </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-size: large;">Anyhow you'll be pleased to know that after some research I came across </span><a href="https://tweetdelete.net/" style="font-size: x-large; font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: orange;">Tweet Delete</span></a><b style="color: white; font-size: x-large;"> </b><span style="color: white; font-size: large;">for those on Twitter,</span><b style="color: white; font-size: x-large;"> </b><span style="color: white; font-size: large;">It's Free and so easy to use, with one hit I wiped out 5 years of tweets, so just in case my prodigious personality should </span><span style="color: white; font-size: large;">soar to Stardom status ? there will be no poop to be found💩 Ha. Although Police records on the other hand might still list my court appearance for being part of the Poll tax rebellion, not a crime as such, more a mini revolution of which I stand proud.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-size: large;">Unfortunately</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: white;"> facebook isn't so easy and alot more time consuming as you can only delete 50 posts at a time, but still worth the effort. To do this go to your profile and underneath where you write a post you will see: Manage posts, List view, Grid view. Click on Manage posts and click the first 50 you want to get rid of and then click delete, and then repeat for as many times as you need to. Instagram pretty much has the same set up as Facebook if you want to delete multiple posts.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-size: large;">I</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-size: large;"> think most of us would like to think we change for the better, learn from past mistakes and keep on maturing like good cheese, just not as stinky? But if we publicly record our journey in social media posts and comments there is always the possibility that the past could come back to bite us on the bum, everything is so PC and the world and it's people seem so snowflakey in comparison </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-size: large;">with yesteryear, and it's not always easy to change as quick as is needed , all we can do is try our best to keep up and in the meantime have a regular clear out of posts so as to stay in control of what we're putting out there as we go forward? </span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-size: large;"> </span><span style="color: white; font-size: large;">Til next time, stay blessed</span><br />
<span style="color: white; font-size: large;"> Back Before Elvis</span><br />
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Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-57788224371936649582019-07-19T00:06:00.000-07:002019-07-19T01:29:14.350-07:00All Change ? <span style="font-size: large;">Well there's been a change that I wanted to share with you, so grab a custard cream ( Never too early.....or too late ) and i'll spill.... </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So first up, the Bands/Artists that I support and feature under Eargasm Feat has a brand spanking new name and banner and will now be known as <a href="https://www.officialrunninonempty.com/runninwithmyrhythm"><b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">Runnin With My Rhythm</span></b></a> </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">it will still be bringing you outstanding talent by those producing great music and continue to hopefully introduce you to people and tracks you'd otherwise not hear. There's also a<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span><b><a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2wdXjfpZE5cQIFLZ4BXF7z?si=HPk1YF78QJGduFCqpzoDKQ"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">Runnin With My Rhythm Spotify</span></a> </b>playlist of all those featured so far, so it would be cool to see you there and have you follow. At the moment I'm particularly on the look out for some dynamite sounding unsigned UK Rap/Hip-hop bands/artists to feature, so if you think you have what it takes, or you know of someone that does, then send over the links and i'll check it out. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Most of us like listening to music, some of us all day? But we rarely think about the actual realities of making music, It's tough being an independent band/artist , so as well as downloading please don't forget to follow them, share, RT, and continue to show them your support. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Cheers, Stay Blessed</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Back Before Elvis </span><br />
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Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-19345770701471433492019-05-22T03:31:00.003-07:002019-05-22T03:31:53.333-07:00Swapping Mozart For Stormzy ?<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>So I woke up to the headlines that a youth Charity headed by Myleene Klass is urging Schools to add Stormzy to the curriculum instead of Mozart to engage kids that would otherwise fall by the wayside, and I wholeheartedly agree, Hallelujah , about time. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Everyone is different and I believe it's an adults responsibility to tap into what makes a young person tick and then use that to show them their potential.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Back when Dinosaurs walked the earth and Stormzy hadn't even hatched and I was at school, it was something I put to my own music teacher. At 11 years of age I didn't get classical music, I hated the fact we were force fed Mozart, Beethoven and a host of others. As a music lover I knew I'd probably "Get it" one day when I was older but at that point in time it wasn't relevant to me. So thinking of a compromise I asked the Teacher if we could combine classical with modern, be set a challenge like writing a rap or lyrics over a piece of classical music? </b></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>It would mean we'd have to </b><b>go away and listen to some classical music to pick the one that felt right for our words, which would maybe help us to also engage and appreciate classical music a bit more? Sadly it didn't go down too well, she didn't have a cane in her room but if she had I think she would've bent me over the desk right there and then and whipped my butt as red as her angry face. </b></span><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Instead she called my parents up the school due to my "Disrespect and impertinence" of her teaching. This just added further to my dislike of teachers and anti- school mind -set .</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I hated music lessons and was so disappointed because it felt like a missed opportunity, thankfully I also loved acting, and Drama was my favourite lesson, Mr Tim Phillips was everything you'd want in a good Teacher, he treated students as equals, he didn't speak down to you, he praised you and encouraged you to fulfill your dreams. Unfortunately he was in the minority, as Drama was frowned upon in the school by a lot of the other teachers who saw it as "A class for lazy people that didn't want to work" </span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Being a teacher's tough there's no doubt, it's a lot tougher today than back in my day when a teacher could just give you a good beating if you weren't towing the line, but the essence is still the same. If a child is a great storyteller then encourage them with English and Drama, don't try and turn them into a Mathematician, if a child shows a real love and flair for cooking then guide and support in that and don't chastise them for being crap at history? </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>We have to treat children as individuals, tap into their talents and help them hone their skills, every single child has a talent, most from disadvantaged backgrounds just don't know it ,or don't know what to do with it, and whether it's to become an astronaut or a rapper they all deserve the same chance to shine. I have to also add that it's never too late and we as adults can support, praise and guide other adults who missed out. I've seen many an adult discover their talents later on in life, a few kind words and a bit of support costs nothing but can have a massive impact, so come on, let's get supportive? </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b> Til Next Time, Stay Blessed</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b> Back Before Elvis</b></span><br />
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Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-17983724709318800692019-05-17T02:02:00.000-07:002019-05-17T02:02:06.098-07:00My M.E LIfe Of Riley<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">After 29 yrs of living or should I say lingering with the horrendous condition known as M.E (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis) I'm never quite sure what to write that hasn't already been said, but as it's M.E awareness month I feel I should say something.</span><span style="font-size: large;">So in response to some recent ignorance I came up with "My M.E Life of Riley" and thought I'd record it to video, unfortunately being at the receiving end of such ignorance is nothing new when you have M.E or other chronic conditions I'm sure? But social media is a great educating platform to address it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">I must've recited the piece 50 times or more in my head perfectly,</span><span style="font-size: large;"> however, with M.E it's getting it from our brain to our mouth that's the problem, it's like squeezing words from the back of your head through a dense wall of marshmallow in an effort to get them to the front, by which time we've forgotten which word we were attempting to squeeze through in the first place.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">By my 8th attempt I think i'd recited every curse word on the planet (apologies to my mother........and my neighbour) . Plus I'm having problems with my eyes at the moment, all part of M.E and Fibromyalgia and something I'm used to but it just means my eye muscles keep going into spasm, think extreme cramp but in your eyeballs, so by the time I completed this spoken word it was old Squinty eyes 12th attempt .
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<span style="font-size: large;">Recently I was having breakfast in my local greasy spoon just a three minute sloth crawl from my house, and while for some that doesn't warrant fanfares or uploads to Instagram, when you've experienced being bed-bound and housebound for two years nothing's ever the same again, you appreciate every little thing massively because firstly you know what it feels like to have the very fundamental things you've taken for granted taken away and secondly it's the little things that become your world and you hold on to them in the hope that if you hold on tight enough one day they'll eventually lead you back to who you were and where you were before illness struck, sun and rain on your skin, bird song, a flower that's bloomed, hearing people chatting outside, and yes, poached eggs on toast at the local cafe, gratitude for everything is magnified. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">However the other week someone I know popped in to get a take-away coffee, I nodded and said "hallo" he responded with a tut followed by "Look at you living the Life of riley" while also rolling his head in sync with his eyes ( Proving that men can multi-task after all ) </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I didn't respond because i've learnt over time that there's no quick fix for ignorance and often responding just fuels it further , plus where energy is precious I'd rather use it for something more worthy, also silence can speak volumes, the onus is on the other person at the end of the day, It's not up to us as M.E Sufferers to justify or prove ourselves and our condition to anybody.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Unless someone's in severe M.E mode in which case you wouldn't see them at all because they would be bed-bound with oxygen tubes, feeding tubes and other tubes trailing from various orifices, or someone's in a bad M.E relapse meaning they would be housebound, you can't tell someone has M.E just by looking at them. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjncJdxcC4BwBj5mWlPiVvGl6muSg8c8OsVA559OZApM-wBirP0yeMgM8W7DmDSkdWCzFWOgN-RHEXHKI5z-hizZmAh0AwBSbDV7e7-1UVrxbnu5bxGU2vSL7d5hjIeoRIjqi1QhVqjV8pT/s1600/577730_10150962986944424_1137965988_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="99" data-original-width="200" height="198" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjncJdxcC4BwBj5mWlPiVvGl6muSg8c8OsVA559OZApM-wBirP0yeMgM8W7DmDSkdWCzFWOgN-RHEXHKI5z-hizZmAh0AwBSbDV7e7-1UVrxbnu5bxGU2vSL7d5hjIeoRIjqi1QhVqjV8pT/s400/577730_10150962986944424_1137965988_n.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-size: large;">It's a permanent, chronic, physical condition that rises and falls like a mexican wave on loop, and can change day to day, hour to hour, Just because someone's out in social surroundings it doesn't mean they're well, it means that they are at a level of illness where they feel they can attempt something , maybe chat with someone other than family members or carer, have a laugh and taste a little normality for a short while.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">You wouldn't see a cancer sufferer out and think they must be cured to be out socialising? or that they must be faking the illness because how can someone with cancer be so nicely groomed and still retain their humour and be laughing ? As i've mentioned before, over the years when i've written articles on living with M.E i've been contacted by those who have suffered from both cancer and M.E who wanted to tell me how they found M.E worse and given the choice they would rather have cancer. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The first time I received such a call I have to say I was shocked, it's not a competition of course but it's a very bold statement to make, and since that first call I've gone on to receive many similar calls and emails, which should inform people to just how awful living with M.E is? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We don't have a choice when it comes to whatever illness we're dealt, but we do have a choice of how to handle it, and over the years i've met the most amazing people, those with physical illness such as M.E, Cancer, Ms, Lupus, Cystic Fibrosis, Brain injury, C.O.P.D and a zillion others, plus those with mental health issues ranging from depression, bi-polar to schizophrenia, and not one person has felt sorry for themselves, they have been stalwarts, warriors, determined to live the best life within their limitations, you wouldn't know by looking at any of them that they were ill because they choose not to share their daily struggles and misery 24/7, not everyone is a "benefit scrounger" living a life of riley. So for the well and healthy amongst you please remember that just because you can't see something, it doesn't mean it isn't there, and on that note, i'll leave you all with one word, Oxygen ? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Til next time, Stay Blessed, </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Back Before Elvis</span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
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Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-28589549446431692762019-04-26T01:15:00.001-07:002019-05-16T03:27:05.998-07:00I'm Miserable, So What? Now Sod Off!<span style="font-size: large;">What you are about to read is based on observation, feeling, fact and truth, or maybe I should say my truth because everyone is different of course? It's not intended to be read with orchestral violins in the background, it's not a one stop shop pity party, it's not looking for Likes, Shares or Hugs Hun 💖💖💖 comments, it's simply sharing the fact as the title states: I'm Miserable, So What? Now Sod Off. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">There's so much pressure in today's society to be "Happy" Pharrell Williams sang about it and there's been a zillion books written on the subject from "Unf#ck yourself" by Gary John Bishop to Mr Cheerful by Roger Hargreaves, </span><span style="font-size: large;">but the truth is it's okay to be bloody miserable sometimes or all of the time if that's the case ? And we shouldn't necessarily flock to nudge, cajole or bully someone back to "Happy." </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Most life things have opposites, Life/Death, Light/Dark, Happy/Sad, etc, you can't feel one unless you've experienced the other in some way otherwise it wouldn't make sense, both are lessons, however, due to circumstances and emotional make-up </span><span style="font-size: large;">when it comes to emotions </span><span style="font-size: large;">some people can get stuck on one side. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">For those of you that have followed other articles of mine over the years you will know I often refer to people holding onto their misery like a comfort blanket? Again there</span><span style="font-size: large;"> are many reasons people do this, for some it's learnt behaviour, others, simply loneliness and needing attention, and then there's those who just don't have the tools to navigate back to "Happy" and even if they did they would be too scared to use them because misery feels safe and familiar, and trying to drag someone back to the light side when they're not ready will only lead to more stress, anxiety and.....misery, some people are just too darn happy in their misery to change. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Thankfully, I haven't always been miserable, as a kid my nicknames were things like Smiler, Happy-Go-Lucky and Giggler, and from childhood to adulthood i've always used humour to get by, but Life often has a habit of whittling away at you, and while as a young whippersnapper I may have felt like a mighty oak, today I'm more twig. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The grief of losing my siblings has left me emotionally crippled and I can't pretend otherwise anymore . Don't get me wrong, I still do the ha ha, hee hee, ho ho, when needed, business when needed, and be professional,you don't have to share your misery with other people all of the time, that's not fair. When the grief torpedo hits during the day I can just take myself off into another room, let the tears roll and carry on doing whatever it is i'm doing, but it's the stillness of the night that's the worst, the thoughts and pictures seem so loud that even my sobs can't drown them out. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm well aware of the rationalities of life and death, I know what my brother and sister would want and I know we have to carry on but after 4 years I'm not even a quarter of the way there yet. There's a constant emotional pain, littered with anger and a crushing guilt, while still having the need to remain strong for other family members. Welcome to grief on loop. We're all at different levels of our journey, it's not a competition, none right or wrong, just ours. While people are well meaning, there's no words, pills, potions or head doc that's going to change things any time soon, that's only going to happen when my soul is ready to start letting me heal, the problem with that is I've always been a lousy healer. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">On top of M.E/Fibro and other health conditions, grief is exhausting but at this moment in time I don't see an end date, and maybe it never ends, it's not a position I've ever been in to this degree, I can only navigate through each day as best as I can, and I prefer to do that alone . While I appreciate "cheer up gifts" and cards with smiley faces I often wonder if people are expecting "Instant Happy" like i'm going to grab a pair maracas and start shimmying around the kitchen singing Copacabana? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">Much to people's surprise, I'm not a peopley person, I prefer my own company and that of wildlife, throw in chips, cheese and a yoga mat and i'm as contented as i'm ever going to be...for now. For now I accept miserable because Michael and Michele were my big brother and sister and I was the youngest most annoying one and losing them both has meant I've lost a big part of me, there are quirks and memories you can't share with anyone else but your siblings and I feel totally lost and abandoned without them and it's scary. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Just as it's okay to be "Happy" it's also okay to be miserable, there's no law against it. I just can't be "Happy" right now, so hold off on the "Time is a healer," "Things will get better," "Maybe you need to try harder?" yadda yadda! It's okay to be miserable, I'm miserable, so what? Now sod off. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Til Next Time, Stay Blessed</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Back Before Elvis</span><br />
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Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-72009950227050729712019-04-18T10:22:00.000-07:002020-01-24T09:14:58.173-08:00Mental Health Madness Pt3<span style="font-size: large;">I wasn't planning on turning this article into a trilogy, but then when it comes to mental health in the UK there's plenty to say.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">My interest hasn't been from choice as such </span><span style="font-size: large;">but more of a spiritual persuasion </span><span style="font-size: large;">and if i'm honest there's still very much a love hate battle going on . I have been surrounded in some way or another throughout life by just about every mental health issue you can think of. I did everything I could to avoid it before coming to the conclusion I'm not the sole author of my life story and someone up there has other ideas. Even on rare shopping trips out due to the limitation of M.E & Fibromyalgia I would often find myself cornered by a stranger who would go from saying "hallo" to suddenly blurting out their entire mental health life story from sectionings to psychotic drugs and back again. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Of course I could've just walked away, only I couldn't, despite part of me wanting to run and hide behind the curtains</span><span style="font-size: large;"> in soft furnishings, a louder part was telling me to stay, listen and help, and so over decades I developed techniques that I could use to try and be of some use rather than just stand with a gormless expression, my usual some would say? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">What I've encountered is so many people stuck in a system they really don't belong purely because they don't realise they have a choice. When a person suffers repeated trauma they often switch off, disconnect from themselves, they go through life on automatic basically believing whatever label they're given, so when they end up in the one glove fits all mental health system, they end up stuck in a repeated cycle of self abuse, sectioning and stronger medication without any question. It's a band aid and a crutch but it doesn't go anywhere deep or personal enough in giving someone the tools needed to get well again & turn their life around on a more permanent basis. In the future I'm looking at maybe running trauma sensitive Yoga classes to help individuals find that connection again. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">I believe the mental health system in this country needs a major overhaul not only with how it's accessed but also its approach with treatments. I recently spoke to lady who suffered abuse and mental anguish for many years but like a phoenix , has risen from the ashes and this is what this inspirational lady </span><span style="color: yellow; font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.cpacademy.coach/me/" style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: yellow;">Caroline Powell</span></a> </span><span style="font-size: large;">had to say on Mental health & Homelessness </span><span style="color: yellow; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">"I started working on the Project "A Slice Of Happiness" in November 2017 after volunteering for the London and Slough Run Charity who inspired me to help those suffering. I'm now blessed to be working with four highly experienced facilitators in this field using a new psychological approach to the UK, The Three Principles: </span><span style="font-size: large;">David Key (Also an Ambassador), Jacqueline Hollows ( Founder Of Beyond Recovery), Susan Marmot and Liliana Bellini, together we facilitate the programmes which are group sessions covering 30hrs. The DJ Brandon Block has been volunteering in Watford for 10yrs with Homelessness and Addictions, and he is also an Ambassador.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We are all facilitating free of charge, Apprenticeships are at present being offered for free by David Keys, we already have local Organisations providing food for our sessions and Quakers Homeless London and W3RT are supporting us with a venue which should take us through to the end of June. The main focus for us at the moment is to raise awareness and get self referrals for those that need our support, with no cost to them. The vision is to create a community platform starting in Watford, helping mental health and self destructive behaviour which is organically grown solely by those who have been affected by Homelessness. We started our Programmes last September and the results for our test programme were very encouraging.<span style="color: yellow;"> <a href="https://www.3prc.com/single-post/2018/12/18/What-Can-9-People-Teach-Us?fbclid=IwAR0guP0GlT9fP19Vz2S-DXwkwc4p3D2x5nAVc7aX26s3mBMD_Wqslu04JGc"><span style="color: yellow;">W3RT</span></a></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We have already offered two apprenticeships to past participants, and once we are at a level to become a registered charitable organisation, they will have a new skill set which they can get paid for whilst helping others in similar situations. At present there is nothing in the UK that provides grassroots Psychological support at this level so we are excited to see where the path takes us" </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">You can follow their journey and show your support via social media <a href="https://www.facebook.com/Asliceofhappinesscoach-166848730764638/">Facebook</a> & <a href="https://twitter.com/helphomeless">Twitter</a> </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">On the 3rd january Watford MP Richard Harrington confirmed that two new mental health teams would be set up in or near schools to deal with mild to moderate mental health conditions in children and young people, and would work alongside schools and colleges and these teams will be paid for as part of the £20,5 bn extra funding put in by the Government for mental health ? The NHS mental health services already set up in herts are inadequate, it seems madness (no pun intended) to set up two new teams? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Plus it's a missed opportunity & a smack in the face to those Charities & organisations already established here in Watford helping young people, like <a href="http://signpostcounselling.co.uk/">Signpost</a> for instance, who have been running for 44 yrs and are now in danger & struggling to stay afloat ? If you'd like to help them keep going, you can show them your support and make a donation on their website. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">As for dealing with my own frustrations at living with chronic physical illness for 29yrs, it has been a somewhat comedic journey that has included, going cross-eyed as I stared at a raisin on the end of my tongue....it's called mindfulness dear? Walking around a garden staring at my feet for 20 mins, 20 mins? when one of your prime symptoms is exhaustion ? ....er, yes, it's called mindfulness dear ? And then there's the putting my "frustration" in a red velvet bag and throwing it off a cliff?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> "There there it's all gone ?" </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"But?......." </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Ah, Sssh, it's all gone remember?" </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The DWP are no better, in fact their ignorance and handling of any conditions be it physical or mental is not only a disgrace it's criminal. They operate on a "If it can't be seen in the hours assessment it doesn't exist" mentality, so as for anxiety ? "The advisor didn't note any sign of anxiety, 0 point. When I suggested that in this time of mental health awareness it was a very ignorant & shocking viewpoint. Their response was that the advisor, a healthcare professional ( in this instance a nurse) had told them there was no trembling, shaking or sweating" during her visit and that's who they listen to. So in the DWPs parameters that is enough to deem a condition, symptom as not existing? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">As for unsafe swallow? "The advisor noted you were swallowing your spittle fine, also as mornings are better if you need to eat you can eat something up to midday. 0 points"</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">At a time where DWP have been forced to admit 111,450 claims were closed due the deaths of the claimants I suggest some of that extra Government funding goes into training DWP staff in treating those with physical and mental conditions with respect, dignity and compassion? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Lastly, as for my own struggle with health and grief? 5 months after I first applied for some help, a counselor called, comedic timing it was to, I was in the middle of a Torpedo moment, that moment where you're hit suddenly from out of the blue with the reality that someone or people that you loved dearly have died, I was crying when i picked up the phone without thinking. He introduced himself and said my first appointment had come up, sobbing and flustered, I said I couldn't handle it right now. he asked me if i'd like to be taken off the list ? Still sobbing I said yes. A</span><span style="font-size: large;">t that moment I swear I could hear the party poppers going off at his jubilation of being able to knock someone off an already lengthy waiting list, </span><span style="font-size: large;"> he replied I could consider it done but if i ever needed them in future to just reapply, phone went down and that was that? As for my frustrations at health and grief, theyare all normal and i'll just crack on and deal with them all as they ebb and flow, and if anyone wants me to put raisins on my tongue in future? Please make sure they're Chocolate covered . </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Til NextTime, Stay Blessed</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Back Before Elvis</span><br />
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Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766426067003067852.post-51492205568059797352019-01-04T02:46:00.000-08:002020-01-24T05:41:45.076-08:00Mental Health Madness PT2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">Continuing on from </span><a href="https://runninonemptee.blogspot.com/2018/12/mental-health-madness-pt-1.html" style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: yellow;"><b>Mental Health Madness PT1</b></span></a><span style="font-size: large;"> having already had the hurdle of trying to see a GP, I decided as a writer to do what I believe many in desperate need won't do, and that's to fill in the Wellbeing Centres online seven-page questionnaire to try and access the service? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: large;">The question that shocked me the most was on the last page, it asked if I was thinking of committing Suicide and if so had I planned how I was going to do it? There was then a box where I'm asked to describe exactly HOW I would do it? I have to admit there was a mixture of shock, anger and sarcastic thoughts buzzing through my head at this point. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: large;">Once you've seen a question you can't unsee it and I think it's just human nature, curiosity and automatic reaction to do that theoretical thing, where your inner head Chimp goes "Oh okay, well I wouldn't commit suicide but if I did how WOULD I do it? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I was tempted to write in the box "I'm thinking of shoving a stick of dynamite up my arse and wandering into the Wellness centre" (Wouldn't have to wait 12 weeks to be seen then eh? ) </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I didn't of course, it was left blank because I'm not suicidal but I find it quite horrific and unnecessary to ask such a question, not just at such an early stage of trying to access the service but to ask it at all?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: large;">For someone that wasn't suicidal could it not suddenly become an option when presented with this question and made to think about it in detail? For those that ARE suicidal doesn't this just fuel those thoughts? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: large;">In the main, and in my personal experience people that commit suicide don't usually talk about it, in fact as in my brothers case they often lie and tell others they wouldn't ever do that. So someone who was genuinely thinking of taking their own life wouldn't fill the form in honestly anyway. Those that frequently talk about Suicide and have suicidal thoughts rarely go through with it, there's often a pattern of self-harm, or/and drink, drugs, generally self-destructive behaviour involved in their quest to find someone to save them, </span><span style="font-size: large;">often from themselves due to some past or present situation, so all</span><span style="font-size: large;"> the question does is </span><span style="font-size: large;">fuel</span><span style="font-size: large;"> that thought and behaviour pattern. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: large;">Having submitted the form, two weeks later I received a letter......along with a two-sided sliding scale questionnaire that I was expected to fill in (I'll be on Mastermind at this rate ). I refuse point blank to fill in these useless forms, it's just another block that serves no purpose. For anyone unfamiliar with a sliding scale form let me enlighten you. The first problem with these questionnaires is that they are "One Glove Fits All" based, they take nothing else into consideration. So the conflict is the questions are looked at from a mental/psychological angle whereas someone like myself </span><span style="font-size: large;">who has Scoliosis, Osteoporosis, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (M.E) & Fibromyalgia view them from a physical angle by which they are impossible to fill in due to the daily fluctuating symptoms. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Trouble Concentrating on things such as reading the newspaper or watching TV?</b> <span style="color: orange;"> <b><span style="color: orange;"><span style="color: red;">Not at all?</span> <span style="color: red;">Several days? </span> <span style="color: red;">More than half the days? </span> <span style="color: red;">Nearly every day?</span> </span></b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: large;">Another question: </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Choose from the scale 0-8 how much you would avoid the situations or objects below:</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Social situations due to fear of being embarrassed or making a fool of myself? </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Certain situations because of fear of having panic attacks or other distressing symptoms such as loss of bladder, vomiting or dizzyness? </b></span><br />
<span style="color: orange; font-size: large;"><b>Would Not Avoid It? Slightly Avoid It? Definitely Avoid It? Markedly Avoid It? Always Avoid It? </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">If looking at it from a physical illness angle the questions all intermate that illness is a choice? There are many things I cannot do due to M.E & Fibromyalgia which are the ones that hinder me the most due to their symptoms, meaning avoidance of certain things is a result of physical illness. certainly not a choice.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: large;">"Can't you just fill it in anyway?" encouraged the lady that called a few weeks later as part of my initial assessment. After explaining yet again why</span><span style="font-size: large;"> I refuse to fill in these forms, she agreed with everything I stated.....but then said it still needed to be filled as "part of the process"</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">As an added annoyance I was spoken to in a tone that made me feel as though I'd just pooped on the potty for the first time, and it was a conversation littered with what felt like buzz words that staff have been told to slip in as often as possible "Well done" "You're being very brave" "Thank-you for sharing that" Yadda Yadda!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: large;"> " Do you think we could we go through it together over the phone?" she continued, regarding the form.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"We Could, but it would be a lie because it's impossible to fill in honestly?" says I</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: large;">"Let's try anyway?" she insisted</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: large;"> I found myself suddenly regressed to a petulant child as I repeated, 8, 8, 8, 8, </span><span style="font-size: large;">Basically, I just gave the severest answer for each question. We both knew it was meaningless but she was happy because the form had been filled and she could tick a box. She then informed me that I would have to go through a sliding scale form with the Counsellor too and off we went back and forth into battle again. She said she would have to speak to her manager and get back to me.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: large;">She got back a few days later to say they could offer me the CBT I'd requested for dealing with long-term chronic illness, but would I consider grief counselling after that? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Huh? I just wanted CBT for the whole kit and caboodle that's going on in my life, it all kinda comes as a package?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: large;">Apparently, it doesn't work like that, I can have CBT in terms of my long-term physical health conditions but they don't deal in grief so I'd need to go back to my GP and see about being referred for grief counselling somewhere else or I might even be able to refer myself......again.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It's a weird ask of someone really isn't it, to separate their pains and emotions and departmentalise them so they can fit into the right box for convenience sake? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: large;">The conversation ended with her telling me the counsellor would be in touch in 4 wks to introduce himself properly and then it would probably be a 12 wk wait? That was in September and I've heard nothing since and it will probably boil down to the age-old "Slipped through the net" scenario that I've come to know so well over 29yrs, and that got me thinking, I've survived 29yrs without any real outside support or help for any of my physical conditions, in fact if we're honest, like many I've faced completely the opposite, Ignorance, prejudice, negligence and downright cruelty. As for grief counselling? again, I've coped for three years without any help and I'll continue muddling through I'm sure. What has been made so evident by my experience of trying to access mental health services thus far is how little has changed.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: large;">While I'm still angry and devastated and a zillion other things that my brother took his own life I really don't blame him for not trying to access any help because it's an Awful, Clueless, Jobs-worthy Scripted Shambles and had I been someone that WAS suicidal I would've stuck my middle finger up and jumped off the nearest bridge by now.....and I wonder how many have ? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The Wellbeing service is run by the NHS and we all know how overstretched they are as far as funding and staff go? but it isn't all about money...or lack of, it goes beyond that, the whole process is wrong, lengthy and unnecessary, it's patronising and even before physically talking to someone you're put off by the sites talk of "expected out of session homework tasks" and "filling in of questionnaires to monitor symptoms and progress" I was just looking for a bit of help with my grief at the loss of both my siblings and also 29 yrs of living with M.E but there is no way on earth having experienced what I have so far that I would take it any further even by chance they do eventually get in touch.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: large;">With the barbaric roll out of Universal credit, mental health problems are set to rise. In October Glasgow MSP Annie Wells a Tory Mental Health spokesperson admitted that it was failing societies most vulnerable. And don't think this is just the usual politics, the misery and deaths as a result of UC are intentional, the Government are hellbent on slashing the welfare bill at any cost and that's why they are content to keep lying, remain emotionless to what's happening & shift the responsibility to individuals, groups and charities to pick up the pieces just so long as they cut that bill. We don't just have a mental health crisis on our hands, we have a humanitarian crisis on our hands. There is a serious ripple of discontent stirring throughout social media as various groups start to form and gather followers, with a call for action and I believe it won't be long until we see that action on our streets. This government need to start listening, for just as the people put them up there, the people can and will take them down again, the vulnerable are counting on us. You can now read the last chapter in this series <b><span style="color: yellow;"><a href="https://runninonemptee.blogspot.com/2019/04/mental-health-madness-pt3.html"><span style="color: yellow;">Mental Health Madness Pt3</span></a>.</span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Til Next Time</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Stay Blessed</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Back Before Elvis</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
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Runnin On Emptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00280010722442397496noreply@blogger.com0