So Christmas is coming, & I’m assuming the geese, turkey & chickens are getting fat, which is how I prefer to leave them running around on their little legs, hence my nut roast is chilling in tha freezer, and while I haven’t got as much to worry about as my furry friends Christmas is still an extremely stressfull time if we let it be.
I say it every year, so I wont change a habit of a lifetime…..YOU have to put YOU first. Its not about being selfish or uncaring, its about surviving, and that as I’m sure anyone would agree is NOT selfish or uncaring. You can still do things but you have to get tha balance right for YOU not your partner or anyone else, because once Christmas is over and everybody goes about their normal healthy lives you’ll be the one left with tha consequences…where will everybody be then? Sure you’ll get a host of crass “awwww get better soon” messages as though you’ll be over M.E/Fibro by tha end of tha week, but where will any practical help actually be?
Anyone that expects you to lay on Christmas dinner for tha inlaws & tha world and his wife, & be cook, bottle washer and entertainer is selfish. If your family want tha TV Ad family Christmas then tell them while you’re willing to help out they’ll have to pull most of the weight to achieve it. It’s either that or they can whistle, their choice. Its not being harsh, its being honest, as I’ve come to realise,not many peeps like hearing it,especially when it comes to M.E, but is anyone worrying about YOUR feelings?...YOUR health?....& tha answer to that would be a loud resounding NO.
Tha same goes if your expected to travel to another family members over Christmas, if its going to be too much for you then stand firm and say “Sorry but I wont be able too” if tha rest of tha family want to go let them, you’re not stopping them from going, and at least you can soak in tha bath or curl up with a book or just go to bed and rest but if you don’t take care of yourself Nobody else will, and like I said earlier once Christmas is over who’s going to care less when you’re bedbound from overdoing it running around trying to please everyone?
Its YOUR chritsmas too and you have a right to enjoy it, and even though we are ill we can still enjoy it, as long as we’re sensible and listen to our body and not some selfish family member who hasn’t got a clue about M.E trying to bully you into getting their own way.
Its very easy to be manipulated especially by loved ones, & made to feel guilty. But remember YOUR tha one that’s got a chronic debilitating illness and if family & friends love and care about you enough then they wont put you in that position to start with because they’ll understand, and if they do? Then maybe its time for you to clean out tha closet and have a sweep out, blood isn’t thicker than water, that’s just a sentence, words, its actions of love an caring that’s tha real test.
I’ve had to distance myself from a number of family & friends that just don’t understand M.E, they claim they do but then still cant help slipping in tha odd snide remark or looking at me as though they don’t believe a word i'm saying (you know THAT look?) anyhow there were certain people whose company always left me feeling horrible and angry and I decided I couldn’t change them but I could change myself and stand up and actually do something about it, so now I have very little contact with them.
I didn’t have to say anything or make a big drama out of it, we just rarely communicate which suits me fine and is better for my health, so I hope you have tha courage to do tha same my friends , look after yourself and enjoy your Christmas with those that genuinely love & care about you.
stay Blessed, back before Elvis ;) xxx